The Search For Something More
by Clockwork-Hobo101
Summary: This is my interpretation of what should happen in S6/S7, starting two months after the events of Ep 6x12 "You Have To Be Joking Autopsy of the Devil's Brain ". Ships include: Naley, Leyton, Brucas, Pulian and Browen. Very detailed summary inside.
1. Ch 1: Goodbye To You

_**Disclaimer: This has nothing to with spoilers or anything, this is just what I would like to happen in S6 and S7, if it goes on that long. This is also not predictions, purely my ideal scenario. I do not own the characters or the story up to this point, I do however own the ideas and the dialogue (unless otherwise stated) that follow, so please... don't go thieving it!! Haha. I also don't own the song titles I use... I have taken a lead from OTH, and done the same as them.  
**_

**Author's Note: Okay, so like I said, this is just my ideal scenario for how OTH finishes. As it is important to a lot of people, the ships are: Naley, Leyton, Pulian, Browen and Brucas. Friendships include: Breyton, Leyton, Brucas, Brulian (which could mean ship for some people), Pathan, Paley, Braley... Blah, blah, blah. Now, I realise these are not conventional ships, but hear me out... And please read. I hope I can convert some people with my writing, and even if I don't convert you to those particular ships... I hope I write well enough that you like my interpretation of how S6/7 should go, if only for how it is written. **

**Back-story: Everything that has happened so far in S6 has happened. Up to episode 12 "You Have To Be Joking (Autopsy of the Devil's Brain)". **

**This all takes place starting two months after the events of that episode. **

**Okay, Now, This is where it becomes purely what I want to happen: In those two months, Peyton found out she was pregnant but lost the baby to an ectopic pregnancy, which left her and Lucas devastated. Now she can't have children, which obviously added to the pain. **

**Then Lucas (and Julian) had to leave for L.A. to deal with his book being made into a film. So, Peyton had to lean on Brooke for help in this dark time. **

**Meanwhile, Brooke has been searching for Sam but she still hasn't been found. Brooke received the baby that she was offered, a little girl called Joanna (about two years old). Owen has been there for her (contrary to what he said in episode 12, he has redeemed himself now ^_^). He never slept with Millie, but there was an episode where it was assumed that he did. **

**Haley and Nathan have just been trying to get back to a comfortable state; and trying to bring Dan back into their lives, after he received a heart transplant. They have finally reached a point of happiness and acceptance. **

**So, there you go... Any questions about the two months, please ask. **

**This first chapter is really just easing you into where I am in the series in this fic, you know? Like I said, any questions, please ask... I just really don't want to give a whole big back-story to it... It'll become kind of evident where everyone is, relationship-wise, as the fic goes on. Oh, and this isn't as long as my chapters will become. Anyone who read my last fic, will know that they increase and increase in size as I get more and more into it, and come up with a clearer and clearer idea of where I'm going.**

**Enjoy. And, as always, constructive criticism is much appreciated.**

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Peyton looked down, tracing circles into the newly polished table. She'd tried so hard to make the place look perfect for Lucas, but she was not fit to fill the housewife role she had been forced to take on since being unable to work.

She had just finished telling Lucas that she was leaving him, and the room was thick with the anticipation of his reaction. As much as she had rehearsed this conversation, nothing could prepare her for the heartache on Lucas's face. As much as she had tried to remain calm, the tightness in her chest that barely allowed her to speak, strangling the words as they left her as if it didn't want them to be spoken.

The silence was shattered with Lucas's own broken voice, he stared at her in disbelief, everything that he had waited for all those years was crashing around him,

"Peyton... We can do this..."

She shook her head,

He looked at her, willing her to reconsider, "I know it's been hard..."

"It's been awful. If you think it's just been hard... you just- you have no idea..."

"Look, I know-"

"No you don't!"

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, "You left me, Luke!"

"I didn't leave you. Not in that way, I didn't _leave_ you... I went to make a better life for us. You wanted me to do this film, Peyton."

"I wanted you to do this film for you, Lucas! It wasn't for me... It was for you! I knew that you would look back on it, and know that it could have been great if you'd have done it. I didn't want you to hate yourself for not being a part of this great thing."

He got up from the table, rubbing his day old facial hair in exhaustion. "Then I don't know why you're so upset."

Peyton's lip trembled, "What?"

"If you know how hard I'm working for something that you want me to do... Then why be so upset? Why do this, Peyton?"

She looked down into her lap, ripping apart the tissue in her hands.

"Come on..." He pleaded, "We'll just try harder."

She stayed looking down into her lap, shaking her head slightly, "I don't want to try anymore..."

"You don't mean that..."

"I do, Lucas." She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and then sighed, her entire body feeling the exhaustion, "I'm so tired..." She rubbed her forehead, and then rested her head in her hand, her elbow leaning on the table, it seemed to be the only thing that kept her somewhat upright.

"This is just grief, Peyton. You're still grieving. We knew it would take time... And effort."

"Effort!? I'm doing all I can, Lucas! It's taking every bit of me not to fall apart every second of every day."

"I know..." He admitted, regretting the implication of the words he had just used, "_I'll_ do more, Peyton."

"No... I really I- I don't want you to do more..."

"Please, Peyt."

She shook her head, "No.. Luke... You know, this isn't working..."

"Because I've been gone." He grasped onto anything he could, trying to make her stay, "But I'm back now... Things'll be different, I swear. You're just- You're just mad at me for leaving, but it'll be different now."

"I'm not mad, Lucas! God!" She wiped her tears, "I'm just- I'm sad..."

He looked up at her, he hated to see his girl this broken,

"I lost my baby..." She rest her hands on her stomach, "And now I can't have anymore."

"We can adopt... Look at Brooke and Joanna."

"It's not the point! I know we can adopt... But something has been taken from me, Lucas. Stolen from me... I can't have children. I am broken, Lucas..."

"Peyton, no... You're still you..."

"I just feel empty, Lucas... And you left me when I felt empty. And it's not working..."

He shook his head, and walked over to her,

"No... Baby..." He put his hands around her face, and kissed her forehead, "We can do this..."

"I can't... I know you'll try. But I don't want to anymore..."

She pulled herself away from him,

"No, Peyton. Please..."

"Lucas... Come on. You know it's over."

"No, it can't be over... We're Lucas and Peyton." Tears streamed down his face,

"I'm Peyton..." she pressed one hand on his chest, lightly pushing him, emphasising the distance between them, "You're Lucas..." She said, "It's okay to be that way again... We don't have to be together."

"But... I love you..."

She nodded, "You know I feel the same... That won't change. But I'm tired of fighting, Lucas. I'm tired of fighting something just because it feels like what we should do..."

"It feels that way... Because that's how it is. We're meant to be, Peyton."

"Maybe before... But not now... Lucas, you just feel like we're meant to be, because that's what we've told ourselves for years."

"And it's still true..."

"Are you listening, Lucas? I can't do this anymore..."

He dropped to his knees, pressing his face against her stomach;

"No!" He started to sob, "No, Peyton... I can't give you up..."

"You're not giving me up... I'm leaving..."

He shook his head, choking out tears, "No..."

She closed her eyes, and bit her lip, "Please, Luke..."

"No! We can do this... I know it hurts, I know you feel empty, and I'm sorry... But I'll try harder, I swear."

"I know you'll try harder... We'll try. But what are we trying for now?" She looked down at him, raising his chin to look at her, "We're different people... We've tried to live the fantasy of Lucas and Peyton; but I've been hit with the reality, Luke... And the reality is... People don't get their 'happily ever after'"

She took his arms from about her waist, gently squeezing his hands. He collapsed to the floor, shaking with each sob. "Please, Peyton..."

She closed her eyes, and as the tears streamed, she left the room. Determined not to look back; she just couldn't face it. She couldn't look at him again. See those eyes stare into her own. She knew she'd break down. She knew she'd lose face, and go back on her decision.

She got to the top of the stairs and fell back against the wall, she could hear Lucas crying downstairs- each sob cutting into her deep.

She managed to stumble into her and Lucas's bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Shutting out Lucas.

She fell against the bed, her chest heaving in and out with every gasp for air. She buried her head in her hands, and looked around the room that they had made theirs. The pictures she had hung. The photos encapsulating their happiness.

She truly believed in the dream of Lucas and Peyton; the people whose story had graced the pages of Lucas's book. But she wasn't that Peyton anymore... She was a broken version of that person. And she needed to fix herself again.

She inhaled deeply, taking in every bit of oxygen she could. She wiped her face, and looked up into the mirror.

"You can do this, Peyton..."

---

Brooke looked at little Joanna, she had fallen asleep on her again. She loved that.

She gently picked her up and took her to her room. She breathed in the little girl's scent as she placed her down in bed.

She pulled the covers up to her neck, and watched her for a second longer.

The phone burst into life. She pounced on it, as she always did since Sam had left. She prayed to hear her voice at the other end,

"Hello?" She answered, walking back into Joanna's room to check she hadn't been woken. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw she was still sound asleep.

"Hey..." It was Julian's voice. This had become a regular thing, he always rang at about this time to see if Sam had contacted her.

"I haven't heard from her..."

She heard him sigh down the phone. She smiled, it was nice knowing someone cared.

"How's Joanna?"

She stole another look at her, "Amazing..."

"Good... Good."

"You okay, Julian?" She said, holding the phone between her cheek and shoulder, and heating up some Chinese food in the microwave.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't help but worry..."

It had been two months, but both parties missed her. Sam was more than a foster child, and more than some brat that had hassled Julian to read her writing. She was a friend.

She nodded, "I know..."

"How are you, anyway?"

"I'm okay... Surprisingly good."

"That's great."

She took the phone in her hand, as she opened the door of the microwave with the other, grabbing the food and placing it down on the counter. She turned, opening the cutlery drawer, and closing the microwave door with her hip at the same time. "Yeah... Today was a good day..."

"I'm glad to hear it." She could practically hear him smiling, so she smiled in return, hoping he would pick up on it.

She took the food and made her way to the sofa, "And how was your day?"

"It was alright." Julian was slouched on his sofa, his feet up on the coffee table, flipping through the channels with the remote. "Oh, that was another thing I wanted to ask... Have you heard from Peyton, today?"

"Oh." She swallowed a mouthful of food, "No, not really."

"Not really? What does that mean?"

"A little this morning. Why?"

"No reason. I just thought I'd get some kind of text, thanking me for bringing her fiancé home in one piece." He smirked.

"Oh. No, she only asked about Joanna. Like she always does." Brooke smiled slightly at the generosity Peyton had shown her in this difficult time for her.

"Yeah..."

There was an unofficial moment of silence for Peyton as they both thought about how hard it must be for her to see Brooke so happy with a child, when she had just lost a baby, and all hope of having her own child.

"How's she doing?"

"As well as expected."

"I wouldn't even know what was expected in a time like this." He replied, honestly.

"No, me neither."

There was an awkward drag in the conversation.

She didn't want to say anymore, she knew Lucas was coming home today and she knew Peyton was worried. But she didn't know anymore. And obviously neither did Julian.

"So..."

"Yeah."

---

Peyton walked downstairs, she saw from the banister that Lucas was in an armchair, his shirt soaked from the tears she had listened to him shed for the past hour.

She closed her eyes, and recalled happier times. Before all of this: with her mum, with her dad, with Ellie, with Brooke, with Lucas...

With Lucas.

She winced as she fought back memories the searing pain that had shot through her just a few months ago. She let a few tears fall, as she thought about everything her baby could have been, and everything that she and Lucas would have been with it.

But she knew that she couldn't be weak right now. She just had to make it to the door.

She walked into the living room, she knew that their relationship needed this: their lives together had been forever plagued with uncertainty and ambiguity. They needed this. A goodbye.

She walked up to the back of the arm chair, "Lucas... I've got a few of my things... I don't have it all- I just- I'll be back for my other things another time."

He hung his head, inhaling deeply, "Please, Peyton..." He managed to whisper out. "Please, don't go..."

"I'm so sorry, Lucas."

"This is a mistake. You'll realise that. You'll regret this, Peyton."

"Maybe..." She closed her eyes, "But, even if this is a mistake... I need to make it."

"You'll miss me..."

"Every day..."

She knew it was true, she had wanted Lucas for so long that she didn't know how to need anything else.

She just felt so numb now- if she didn't want him, she didn't know anything about herself,

He stayed looking down, he knew he couldn't watch her leave.

"I love you, Lucas..." She admitted, her voice breaking, "I've never loved anything as much as I love you."

"Then don't go... Please..." He begged, getting up and turning to face her, "Don't go."

"I have to, Luke."

"You don't..."

She nodded, turning to leave.

"I don't know how to be without you." He spoke into the silence,

"You won't be without me..."

"It's not the same."

She walked closer to him, "You are my best friend, Lucas Scott."

He stepped in towards her, nodding. "You too..."

"I'm not giving that up."

He shook his head.

She walked closer to him, she placed her bags down on the floor and took off her engagement ring, putting it down on the coffee table.

He bit his lip as he watched her do it, she turned to pick up her bags and leave. He took hold of her arm, and pulled her close, tears streaming from the both of them as they embraced for a second. She looked up, and lightly kissed his jaw, she pulled away but he took her back in again, placing his hand at the back of her head, and kissing her deeply. He stroked his hand through her hair, his fingers running through the blonde locks that he had fallen in love with, never wanting to let go.

They slowly parted, and he prayed that it was enough to make her stay. Just remind her of everything they were.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry, Lucas..."

He turned, and took to the stairs, not wanting any memory of her leaving.

She sighed, and bent down to pick up her bags, swallowing back tears.

She knew she just had to make it to the door, and things would be okay. She could learn to deal with the world alone, if she could just step out of the bubble she had created with Lucas.

She made her way to the front door, and stroked down the cool wood, feeling every indentation. She put her hand on the handle, and flinched back. She took a deep breath, and twisted it open.

The cold night air hit her like a wall, she just had to push through this. She stepped onto the front porch, gulping at this new scary world without the safety of what knowing what she wanted.

She shut the door behind her, and fell against it. But she had to keep going...

She just had to.

---

Nathan walked into Jamie's room,

"The boy!"

Jamie scrambled to his bed, shoving his legs under the covers quickly.

"You have fun today?"

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, Grandpa Dan showed me just the right place to hit someone if they ever attack me..."

Nathan paused, "Remind me to talk to Grandpa Dan tomorrow."

"Okay." Jamie replied, innocently.

Nathan leaned down and kissed Jamie's forehead, "Night, son."

"Night, Dad..."

Nathan turned, switching on the night light.

"Dad?"

He stopped in the doorway, "Yeah?"

"Is Mama okay?"

"Yeah, she's just a little rundown. You've got nothing to worry about, Jamie..."

"You promise?"

"Yuhuh."

"Okay, night, Dad."

"Night."

Nathan shut the door, and made his way down the stairs.

Haley smiled, and sat up on the sofa, when she saw him.

"Oh, you don't have to get up, Hales..."

"It's fine..." She answered, propping herself up against the cushions.

"You need anything?"

"My husband."

He smiled, and obliged, sitting beside her. He leaned in to kiss her, and she backed away, "You'll catch whatever this is..."

He put his hand around her face, "I'll brave it..." he leaned in, and kissed her, stroking just behind her ear with his thumb.

She closed her eyes, moaning softly, and smiling against his lips.

"I feel better, already..."

---

Brooke was finishing off the rest of her food. She'd forgotten how long it had been since she had just sat and let her thoughts fill her head, without listening to someone else's.

She heard a knock at the door, it was lighter than most other people's. She smiled, knowing with some certainty who it was. She glided up from the sofa, swinging her legs over the arm of the chair, and running into the kitchen to put her stuff in the dishwasher. She tucked her hair behind her ears, trying to make herself look presentable.

She opened the door, and beamed,

"She's asleep, isn't she?" Owen whispered,

"You know our routine well," She smiled, and gestured with her head, "Come in..."

He stepped inside the threshold, "I haven't disturbed you, have I?"

"I'm just watching TV" She said, closing the door.

"Okay." He took off his jacket, and slumped down on the sofa, "How's Brooke?"

"She's alright..." She smiled, "Tired."

"Oh. I'm sorry-" He said, getting up off of the sofa to leave,

"No, don't be silly." She said, pushing him down into his seat, and walking to the other side of the sofa.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright..." He got back into a comfortable position, "And Joanna, she's okay?"

"Well, she hasn't said anything to the contrary..." She smirked, "But you never know with toddlers..."

"They're notoriously good at hiding their feelings..."

She laughed, she was glad they had got back to this point. She just wanted someone to make her laugh. To listen to her when she needed it. Owen had proved himself worthy of her friendship over the past two months.

They both turned to face the TV, and nostalgically watched some old comedy they had both recognised from their teenage years. They laughed at the same parts they had as kids, and "Aww"-ed at others.

---

Nathan and Haley were sat on their sofa together, watching the same old film. She nuzzled into him, resting her cheek on his chest. Their breathing synchronised. Her fingertips lightly stroked his torso, she loved how smooth his skin was underneath his t-shirt. She wriggled down, kissing his stomach, and then resting herself on him again, watching the film.

He stroked her back, making small circles with his fingers,

He looked down at her, concern on his face,

"You feeling any better, Hales?"

Shrugging, "Not really..." She confessed,

"I'm making you an appointment for tomorrow..." He said, firmly.

"No, don't be stupid." She smiled, she secretly adored his worried nature when it came to her and Jamie,

He placed a hand on her forehead, "You're burning up. No arguments, Haley, I'm making you an appointment."

"No, it's like the flu or something..." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Then that's exactly what the doctor will tell you... When you go to your appointment tomorrow." He said, not backing down.

"Fine... Fine." She lowered herself onto him again, sighing at his persistence.

They started to watch the film again. The music swelled, as the TV glowed onto their faces.

"I just worry about you, is all."

"I know..."

---

Peyton turned the key in the lock, walking into Brooke's house. Brooke turned and jumped when she saw Peyton's face.

"P. Sawyer, you scared me to death!"

"I'm so sorry, Brooke... I thought you'd be asleep... I didn't want to wake you."

Brooke noticed Peyton's tear-stained face, "Peyton... Are you okay?"

She went to speak, when Owen came out of the bathroom, "Hey, Peyton." He smiled at her, and then frowning when he saw her face.

She was suddenly uncomfortable, "I'm just gonna go..." She turned and made her way towards the door,

"No, Peyton, it's okay..."

"No, seriously... I'll leave. I shouldn't have just walked in."

"Peyt-"

She opened the door to see Julian, she turned back to Brooke and Owen, one eyebrow raised, smirking,

"Why, Brooke Davis..."

Brooke raised an eyebrow in return, walking closer to the door, "Hey, Julian..."

He smiled at her as a greeting, and then turned back to Peyton. "Peyton, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just- I'm gonna go. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Peyton, something's wrong..." Brooke said, "Come on, you can tell me..."

"Honestly, it's nothing that can't wait till tomorrow." Peyton's voice broke, all the attention had got to her.

"Peyton, it's okay. Talk to me..."

"No, really..." she went to leave, earning a tug on the arm from Brooke, "I really- I'll speak to you tomorrow..."

She walked out onto the front porch, where she stopped and broke down into tears.

"Peyton... Come inside..." Brooke walked out, putting an arm around Peyton's shoulders and walking her back inside. Peyton leaned her head onto Brooke's as she sobbed, practically being carried into the house.

"Come on, Owen... Let's leave them..." Julian noted,

Owen nodded, watching sympathetically as Brooke walked Peyton past the two of them and into her bedroom. He reached back and grabbed his jacket, walking out the front door. Julian watched Peyton enter Brooke's bedroom, hanging his head and turning away. Brooke peeked her head around the door, making eye contact with Owen as he turned back to shut the door. The two shared a respectful nod, and he closed the door gently, ensuring not to wake Joanna.

Brooke followed Peyton into her bedroom and sat her down on the bed,

"What happened?"

"I left Lucas..."

Brooke tilted her head to one side, she nodded. As much as Lucas and Peyton fit, she wasn't surprised.

"What if I'm wrong, Brooke?"

"Then you'll be with each other again. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. But right now, you need this..."

Peyton nodded.

She leant onto Brooke, bursting into tears again. "It's okay, Peyton..." Brooke whispered, stroking her hair.

They stayed like that for about an hour, before Brooke ventured, "You must be tired..."

Peyton nodded into Brooke's shoulder, "Yeah, but I don't imagine I could sleep right now..."

"You wanna try?"

"...Yeah."

She looked at the time, 2:30am

"Oh God, Brooke, I'm so sorry... You've got work tomorrow."

"Hey... I own that store... If I wanna roll in at noon, I can." She smiled.

"Thank you..."

"No problem."

She walked into the hallway, dragging in Peyton's bag. "Here you go..."

"Thanks..."

"I'm gonna go get changed. You can use the bathroom through there, if you want..."

Peyton nodded, and crouched down, picking up her bag. She walked through to the en-suite, slowly undressing and getting into an old sweatshirt.

She looked into the mirror and saw the mascara streaks down her face, "Oh, God... I look like Alice Cooper..."

She leant down and washed her face, scrubbing hard, trying to get rid of her sadness but to no avail. She looked back in the mirror, and pulled her hair back out of her face.

She walked back through to the bedroom, and perched at the end of the bed. She stared into the room, wrapping her arms around herself to feel safe and warm again. This time, it was only silent tears that could fall- she was too exhausted for anything else.

Brooke lightly knocked on the door, and walked in, she stopped and looked at Peyton for a second. She gently pulled her into bed, tucking the blanket around her as she had done with Joanna earlier, and then got in herself, turning off the lamp as she slid down in the covers.

Peyton closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn't come.

She started to sob, trying to use the pillow to muffle the noise.

Without speaking, Brooke leaned over, and slid her arm around Peyton, pulling herself in close to her. Peyton took Brooke's hand in her own and held it close to her stomach.

She gulped back tears, while Brooke held her tightly and slowly fell asleep. Brooke felt the sudden shift in her body, and knew she was sleeping. She shut her own eyes, and sighed with relief, falling asleep herself.

**

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**A/N: So... That's the first chapter... How do people feel about it? **

**Thank you, in advance, for any reviews you give me. **


	2. Ch 2: The Way Things Are

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, people!! Keep them coming, please...**

**(Oh, and in reference to someone's review, yes, there will be more Naley. A lot more Naley. So nay fear. This chapter has a lot of Naley, but I mean, I also have to deal with the aftermath of the Leyton-events last chapter.)**

**As with most of my writing, there is foreshadowing and symbolism and all that. You don't need to watch out for it or anything, but you know... It's there. And it is followed up on. Not like some of Mark's... **

**Okay, for this chapter, you'll need a little more background to the two months: when Lucas decided to leave and go work, all his friends were upset with him, especially Nathan and Haley (as obviously family is very important to them). Brooke kind of bridged the gap between the two sides; understanding why Lucas left, but at the same time completely and utterly sympathising with Peyton who was going through such a tough time. This will help you understand a particular scene involving Nathan and Lucas (if it still doesn't make sense, or it seems a little out of character, tell me. And I'll tweak it.) **

**This chapter is kind of about establishing where all the characters are right now, it's not about furthering the plot by that much. That will all be done in the next chapter.  
**

**Oh, and I told my lovely Yaa Yaa this... But I figure I'll tell the rest of you- this is just a little context: I am kind of writing it as if each chapter is an episode, if that makes sense. Now, I realise that like they are much shorter, but I just mean in terms of content: think of it like that. So you know, kind of where I would be in the series at any one time. Does that make sense? Message me if it doesn't. **

**Anyways, hope you like it!!  
**

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Lucas woke up, having returned to the same armchair after Peyton left and fallen asleep in it.

He sat up straight as he heard the front door open, he rubbed his eyes, and looked down at his rumpled shirt.

Peyton turned into the living room, "Hey, baby..."

"Peyton?" He said, confused. He turned and saw her long, lean body hanging on the door frame, obviously tired, her face swollen from crying.

"How you feeling?"

"A little confused..." He rubbed his face again, trying to wake up, "You?"

"Ridiculous..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She walked closer to him, and sat on the arm of the chair, resting her face in her hands. She inhaled, deeply, "I'm so sorry, Lucas..."

She brought her other leg over, and sat with either thigh around him, she leaned in and putting her hands around his face, kissed his lips.

"I forgive you..."

"...I don't know what came over me."

He shrugged, "You were upset..."

She nodded, solemnly.

"I really will try harder, Peyton."

She smiled, "Me too..."

He smiled back, and placing his hands at the base of her back, gently pulled her in for another kiss. He stroked her hair back from her neck and leaned in, peppering her skin with soft kisses. She moaned and sighed, wrinkling her nose as Lucas kissed her in just the right spots.

She laced her fingers in between his and removed her legs from around him, pulling him up to his feet. His lips crashed onto hers again, and she smiled, and started walking out of the room, pulling him through. He stopped for a second, pulling her back towards him.

"I love you, Peyton..."

"You too..." She smiled back, and continued to lead him out of the room.

Their hands broke apart.

Lucas awoke with a start, staring around the living room.

"Hey, Peyton!" He shouted, "Peyton!"

His own voice echoed back as he realised that last night had really happened. He looked into his empty hand that once held onto Peyton's so tightly.

"Damn it..."

---

Brooke was tiptoeing about the house, trying not to disturb Peyton- oblivious to the fact that she was already awake, and staring at the ceiling.

She walked into Joanna's room, and saw she was sat up in bed, still disorientated from awaking.

"Hello, my baby..." She cooed, leaning in with her arms outstretched for a hug. "You sleep okay?"

She nodded,

"Good." Brooke replied, beaming back at the little girl, and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear for her.

"Brooke..." She smiled,

"Yeah?"

Mimicking Brooke's inflexion perfectly, "You sleep okay?"

Brooke couldn't help but grin at this adorable child, "I slept fine, sweetie. Auntie Peyton came around last night."

'Auntie Peyton' had become a regular fixture in their household, helping out whenever Brooke needed it. She was so appreciative of it. As much as Brooke loved putting her life to one side for her baby, she knew sometimes that she had to leave their cosy home and face the real world, and Peyton was there when she was forced to.

"Okay, I'm gonna come back in a little bit, and run you a bath. And then you're gonna come to the store with me, that okay?" She asked, genuinely meaning for the child to answer.

She nodded with a smile as Brooke gave her cheek a kiss, and walked out the room. As she passed her TV, she gave it a press, turning and lightly tossing the remote back to Joanna. She smiled as she heard the child giggle with delight and turn on some kids programme.

She walked to her bedroom door, and pressed her ear against it. She could hear Peyton sobbing in the room, she creaked the door open, peaking her head around it. She saw Peyton hugging her knees and crying into them. She calmly walked over to the bed, and sat alongside Peyton, putting her arm around Peyton as she had for most of last night.

"Come on, P. Sawyer..."

"What if it was all a mistake?"

"You really need to stop thinking of it like that. Like this is the end. You need this, Peyton. It could just be a learning experience, you know, you may end up getting back together but it won't have been a mistake."

She stroked her hair, letting Peyton lean on her shoulder.

"You just need to figure out what you want... And then think about getting it."

Peyton's eyes were glassy as she tried to hold back the tears of confusion: she didn't know what she wanted. She was so sure she wanted Lucas... But being with him was anything but the fairytale she had wanted. She almost wanted that old ignorance to come back; she tried to remember a time when she was plagued with uncertainty or doubt about how Lucas felt. She knew she loved him, she knew that wouldn't change, and she knew that he loved her, but she needed to feel safe. And for the last three months, she had felt anything but.

"I just don't know what to do, Brooke..."

Brooke crawled across the bed so that she was now in front of Peyton, she put her hands on Peyton's knees and looked at her, "You are going to get up. And do what you do best... You are going to be Peyton, again. My best friend, Peyton. Not this Peyton..." She gestured at the sobbing Peyton. "You are going to fix yourself. You are going to go to work, and you are going to make beautiful music and change people's lives. And doing that, you will change yours..."

Peyton sniffed, and looked up into Brooke's eyes, wiping her nose with her wrist,

Brooke sighed sympathetically, "And you're not going to get all that done today, Peyton... But if you could just get out of bed, that'd be a start. That'd be a step in the right direction."

Peyton nodded but the tears still fell.

"And if you can't get out of bed, that's okay. We'll just try again tomorrow..."

Peyton smiled, weakly.

---

Haley woke up to the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. She sighed, realising she had fallen asleep on the sofa again, this was becoming too regular an occurrence but she was just too weak to move.

She rubbed her head, and struggled up from the inviting embrace of the cushions. She moaned, and squinted as the light hit her face.

"Hales!"

She turned to see Nathan holding a tray of food, she smiled, tilting her head and watching him lovingly.

"What are you doing up?" He asked, putting down the tray on the coffee table. "You should be resting..."

"I'm not elderly, Nathan."

"I know... but you _are _sick. Come on..." He put his hands on her shoulders and guided her back to the sofa, she slumped down and watched as he lifted her feet from the floor and swivelled her around so that she was in a semi-lying position.

"Please, don't worry about me..."

"Shh..." He grabbed the tray, and sat down next to her. Placing the tray on her lap, and stealing a piece of toast. He smirked, raising his eyebrows and taking a bite as she just let it all happen; too tired to fight her doting husband.

She caught sight of his watch, and leaned forward, pulling his arm closer to her and twisting it slightly so she could see it. It blinked half past ten back at her, "Is that really the time?"

"No. I just put it to that number because I like it." He smiled, "Yeah, why?"

"I didn't see Jamie before he went to school," she placed a hand on her forehead, and leaned back slightly, feeling guilty.

"That's alright; you haven't slept well in a while."

She looked up at him, trying to reassure him, "Nathan, I've slept-"

"Hales, I sleep next to you... I know you haven't been sleeping..."

She looked back down at her tray and the spread her husband had laid out for her.

Nathan picked up on her sadness, "Jamie understands. You know that..."

She sighed, still wishing she had seen her boy leave.

Nathan watched her sympathetically,

Remembering, "Oh." He placed the crust of his toast back onto the tray, "You've got an appointment this afternoon, at twelve."

She rolled her eyes, "I was hoping you'd forget to make that."

The phone rang, Nathan got up to get it, leaning down to speak to Haley.

"You should be thankful you have such a devoted husband." He kissed her nose, and went into the kitchen to pick up the phone.

Picking it up, he was shocked to hear his brother's voice so early in the morning,

"Hey, Luke."

He turned back and looked at Haley from the kitchen; she was staring down at the food, trying to choose what to eat out of the vast selection he had prepared for her. She had really lost her appetite over the last few weeks so he had just made everything, hoping something would appeal to her.

He tuned back into the conversation, finally noticing the quiver in Lucas's voice,

He hushed his tone, and turned back towards the kitchen, not wanting to add to Haley's worries right now. "Luke, you alright? Sure... I'll come over, later. No, I can't right now... Because-" He looked over at Haley, "Because I can't... Look, this afternoon."

He hung up the phone, and walked back through.

"Hey, babe..." He said, leaning in over the back of the sofa and kissing the top of her head. He looked down at her tray, still full of food, "You not hungry, Hales?"

"I'm so sorry, Nathan..." She groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Hey, that's okay... I'm just worried about you."

She nodded,

He looked at her, concerned, "You're not gonna try and eat something?"

She looked down at the plate, and lifted a fork between her fingers, she went to bite into some pancakes, "No, I really can't.", she said, starting to heave.

Nathan rushed forward, and took the tray from her setting it down on the coffee table again, "Hales?"

He grabbed the bowl that had waited patiently by the side of the sofa, and held it under her chin.

"There you go, babe..."

She gripped on to his thigh- trying to find support- as he stroked her back and watched her, pained to see his girl so low.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan..." She said, tears in her eyes,

"Hey..." He whispered, placing his hand over hers, "Don't apologise."

Tears streamed from her face, as she leant over the bowl; she nodded, accepting his kindness.

---

Brooke was bathing Joanna, the girl squealed with delight as Brooke splashed water onto her face and Brooke laughed back, doing it again just to hear Joanna giggle more.

She took a cup from the side, and washed Joanna's hair as the girl scrunched up her face when the water went over it.

Brooke leaned over and took a bath-toy, a little green frog, from the side, handing it to Joanna. She leapt forward for it, and Brooke pulled it away, teasingly, and then gave it to her. "There you go..."

The little girl held its hands and made it dance, kicking the bubbles with its feet.

"Do you like baths, baby?"

Joanna nodded as she took a handful of bubbles and blew it in Brooke's face, "Hey!" Brooke laughed, rubbing Joanna's head so that her hair stuck up randomly.

Brooke continued rinsing the water from her head. She stopped, her mind working something out for a second. She looked back at Joanna for a second, and smiled.

---

Brooke walked into the room, quickly and determined, she smiled slightly at Peyton.

"Okay, P. Sawyer..."

Peyton looked up, and smiled weakly back at Brooke.

"Okay?"

She walked into the en-suite, Peyton's eyes followed her with confusion, and she listened to the bath water start running.

Brooke walked back in and perched herself at the end of the bed, "Do you remember before... When you were practically living here while Lucas was in L.A.?" Peyton frowned, and nodded as she recalled how painful that time had been, "Okay, now..."

She got up quickly, delving into one of her drawers and taking out a bottle of something and walking back into the bathroom with it in her hands.

She walked back out; Peyton just sat in complete bemusement,

She smiled, "So, every day I ran a bath for you..."

Brooke noticed the change in Peyton's face as she recalled what she was talking about, "You remember?"

Peyton nodded, still unsure where this was going,

"So, everyday I ran a bath for you... And I told you, that eventually you would sit in that bath, and feel okay again. Yeah?"

Again, she nodded.

"And you didn't get in for days... But I still ran you a new one, every morning... Well, Peyton. It's happening again..."She gestured to the open bathroom door, "I am going to run you a bath, and one day, you are going to sit in there... And you're going to feel okay again. It's okay if it's not today, Peyton." She said, reassuringly, gently patting her knee with her hand, "But one day..."

Peyton nodded.

"Okay..." Brooke got up from the bed, and went to tend to Joanna.

---

"You okay, babe?"

Haley nodded, and started to leave the car; Nathan got out first and walked around the front to open her door.

Getting out of the car, "Oh, you don't have to come with me..."

"Actually, I'm going to see Lucas... I'm just dropping you off first."

"Oh, okay." She looked at his face, "Is something wrong?"

"No... No."

"Nathan..."

He sighed, knowing how she would react, "Peyton left him."

"Oh my God..." She stepped back into the car, "I have to go speak to him."

"No, you don't, Haley James Scott." He took hold of her hand and pulled her reluctant body out of the car, "You have to see the doctor. You have to get better... Because I'm getting tired of looking after your sick ass." He smirked, patting her on the bottom as she rolled her eyes and walked into the hospital.

"But-"

"No... Look, I'm his brother, and I'll report back to you anyway... So... Seriously, just go to the doctor. And call me when you get out, I'll come get you."

"No, you don't have to. I'll just get the bus or something."

"Hales... Just call me when you're done."

She frowned, nodding, "Okay..." and made her way to the entrance,

"I love you, Hales."

"Yeah, whatever..." She replied, walking through the automatic doors.

He smirked and got back into the car, watching her through the window for a second and then driving off.

---

Brooke made her way to the knocked door, opening it with a smile, "Hey, Owen..." She said, knowing who it was before she even saw his face.

"How do you do that?"

"It's a gift..." She shrugged, holding the door open and watching him walk through it.

"You ready to go?"

"Nearly... Do you mind waiting?"

"No, of course not." He smiled at her, as he watched her play with Joanna, trying to get her to finish the rest of her lunch. She put the last spoonful into her mouth, and clapped as she watched her eat it hungrily.

She took the dirty bowl and spoon, and proceeded to the kitchen to wash it up, "You know, I know that she's two... So eating and stuff is hardly new to her but-"

"It's new to you..." He said, finishing her sentence.

She nodded, "It's all new to me..."

"You're doing great, Brooke..."

"You think?"

"Yeah..."

She nodded, smiling at Joanna's happy face.

"I think you might she right..."

Owen smiled, he loved seeing her this happy, and he had to admit: he loved that little girl.

She gestured to the girl's mucky face, "Would you believe she'd had a bath today?" She laughed, "Serves me right for doing it first..."

"Ah, rookie mistake." He replied, smiling at the little girl and instinctively grabbing a wipe and dabbing at her face. Brooke turned back from washing up the cutlery and smiled at the two of them. Owen looked up, "Sorry..." he said, stepping back, worried he may have crossed a line.

"Oh, don't be..."

He laughed nervously resuming cleaning Joanna's face, and walked into the kitchen to wash his hands.

He stepped towards her, drying his hands on a towel, "How is she?" obviously referring to Peyton.

"I don't know..." Brooke admitted, "It's hard to accept the end of what you've wanted for so long..."

He nodded, "Yeah..."

The two looked at each other for a second. Brooke inhaled, breaking the silence. "Come on, Joey..." she said, picking the girl up from the chair.

---

Lucas was walking around his house when he heard a knock at the door,

"Come in!" He yelled from the armchair,

Julian walked in, "Hey, it's me."

Lucas sighed, obviously he was hoping for Nathan, "Hey." He replied, unenthusiastically,

"You forgot to sign this one contract while we were in L.A." He explained, placing the forms in front of him, trying to avoid eye contact while he handed him a pen. "It's just the one about the name...You know, using your name in the promotional material, and stuff."

Lucas leant forward and signed it quickly as if he were signing his life away; he looked up, handing him the contract and the pen.

Julian took it off of him, and went to leave.

Lucas rubbed his face, "You know, don't you?"

Julian hovered in the doorway, his back to Lucas.

"I know something's wrong..."

"But you don't know what?"

"I don't know what."

"Okay..."

"I'll see you later, Luke."

"Sure."

Julian made his way out of the house, leaving Lucas with his own thoughts and depression that now sat beside him like an irritating friend, baiting his thoughts so that they became scarier and more confusing. The abyss of his mind growing darker and darker.

---

Brooke walked back through to her bedroom, to do one last check on Peyton, make sure she was okay.

She looked in and saw the empty bed and rumpled sheets, she smiled a little.

"It's a start..." She whispered into the silent room, looking at the locked bathroom door for a second.

Peyton was sat on the edge of the bathtub, unable to get undressed. She was just frozen in this point between now and moving on.

She woke up from her trance with the sound of a record scratching on, Elvis Costello blared from the next room,

"_Alison... I know this world is killing you..._

_Oh, Alison, my aim is true."_

She smiled slightly as she listened to the music, gently swaying her head- hardly at all.

She took off her shirt, and gently slid her sweatpants down, kicking them off. She stood in her underwear, looking down at the water.

She crouched down, and let her hands glide through the water; she lifted them up again, liking the temperature change. At least she was feeling something.

She nodded, "I'm... I'm ready..." she whispered. She breathed a sigh of relief, as the tightness in her chest was relieved for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. The tears stopped.

Peyton smiled and walked to the door, leaning in towards it.

"Thank you, Brooke..."

Peyton turned towards the water, walking towards it tentatively, and removing the rest of her clothes. She hovered for a second, and then stepped in, realising it was now or never. She shuddered with a smile as the water washed over her. Washing away everything. She pulled the hair-band out, and felt her loose curls falling across her back.

Brooke smiled and listened to the sound of water splashing.

She turned the volume up, and left the room, taking Joanna off of Owen as they left the front door. Owen smiled at Brooke, he could tell how much happier she was now that she knew her friend felt better.

He closed the door behind them, following Brooke the car and helping her strap in Joanna. He walked around to the driver's seat, and turned around to see the two of them,

"Everyone okay back there?"

"We're good." She called back, buckling her own seatbelt and grinning at him.

"Well, alright then." He replied enthusiastically, turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the driveway.

---

Haley sat in the waiting room, trying to keep all the posters and leaflets from fading in and out while she occupied her mind with reading them.

She leaned her elbow on the arm of the wooden, uncomfortable chair and rubbed her temple.

"Mrs. James?"

She looked up, awoken from her thoughts, she smiled nervously at the nurse.

"Uh, James-Scott."

"Oh." She said, making a note on her chart, "Mrs. James-Scott." She smiled, "Room 301."

"Oh." She nodded, picking up her jacket,

"Just down the hall."

"Thank you." She smiled graciously and turned to where the nurse had pointed, walking down sterile corridors and feeling so small in comparison.

"Haley James-Scott?" A doctor called from the doorway Haley had just walked past,

She turned, "Yes..."

He gestured, welcoming her into the exam room,

"Oh, sorry." She made a face that amplified her apology for just being plain unobservant and unfocussed

"That's alright."

She smiled, and followed him through to his desk, closing the door behind her.

---

They arrived at the store, Peyton's stained wedding dress in the corner, having been erected as a monument to Sam caught Brooke's eye for a second. She couldn't help but notice the irony of the demolished dress that lay before her and the relationship that she had once based her entire belief of true love on and how it was quickly tumbling all around her.

She sighed, looking down and then back up at Owen, who was currently playing with Joanna, smiling as he always did when with her.

He saw her face, "You worried about her?"

"Yeah. I just don't feel right leaving her alone today."

"You can always go home..."

"No... No. She probably wants the time to herself, anyway."

"Yeah..."

"Maybe, if-"

She picked up her mobile phone and started to dial.

---

"Lucas?!"

Nathan had knocked but with no reply, "Luke?!" he stepped through the front door and slammed it so Lucas would know he was there.

"Through here..." Lucas called back.

Nathan guessed that he was in the kitchen, and walked through the house to find him sat at the table.

"Hey, bro..."

"Hey."

Nathan sat down in the chair next to him, he sighed loudly, "So, we gonna talk about what happened?"

"She left me..."

"Yeah." Nathan said, absently.

Lucas sniffed, his gaze fixed on the flat surface laid out in front of him. He then stopped for a second, his face creased with a sudden mystification, he looked up at Nathan,

"That's all I get?"

"What?"

"Come on, Nate."

"Come on, what?"

"I just told you that the love of my life has walked out on me, and that's the reaction I get?"

Nathan was instantly annoyed by his brother's selfishness. It had been two months but the pain and grief of Peyton's loss was still fresh in everyone's mind, and he had never truly understood how Lucas could have left her.

"No offence, Lucas. But the love of your life seems to change on an annual basis..." he replied, harshly, not really caring whether he hurt him at this point.

"Now, that's not fair, I-"

"No, what isn't fair is the fact that Peyton lost her baby, and her ability to have children. That's not fair, Lucas. What isn't fair is that a week after, you left her. You can talk about being walked out on by the love of your life but it doesn't compare..."

"Doesn't compare to what?!" Lucas yelled, rising from his seat.

"It doesn't compare to the fact that she was alone, going through maybe the toughest time of her life."

"You think I wasn't in pain? You think I didn't want this baby, I didn't want children?"

"No, Luke, I know you were. Inside, I knew you were in pain. But I _saw _Peyton's pain- Me, I saw it... And everyone else who bothered to stick around. Every time she was too weak to get up, or couldn't sleep, or burst into tears around Jamie or Joanna."

With every heartbreaking moment of Peyton's recent life that Nathan listed, Lucas grew more desperate to prove himself right, he needed to know that he hadn't hurt her this much.

"I knew how upset she was, because she was in my arms, crying or she was having to be nursed back to sleep because of her nightmares by Haley. Or she was in hysterics and suicidal and having to be talked down by Brooke. And where were you, Lucas?"

"I was working hard... For her! I thought that's what she wanted..."

Nathan grew more and more aggravated by Lucas's arrogance, "Oh, lay off it, Lucas! You did this for you... You couldn't help her, and you felt useless. So you left. And you distracted yourself with everything other than the problem at hand, or the people you supposedly care about."

"You really gonna talk about distracting yourself? Mr. I-Drank-To-Forget-About-My-Accident. You think Haley wasn't hurting back then?"

Nathan's face became colder, his stance stronger and more assertive, "You really think comparing yourself to one selfish bastard means your mistakes are any better, hurt the people you cared about any less? I am not saying that I am perfect, I am not saying that I haven't made mistakes. I am saying that your fiancée was lying on her bathroom floor for weeks after you left, feeling fragile, feeling alone, feeling unworthy of anything, up to and including her own life, because she felt like she failed you and you weren't there! You were not there to make her feel alright again, to tell her that she was everything you needed and she had done anything but fail you. And you do not deserve to be forgiven so easily for that. At least not by me..."

He turned to leave,

"So it all comes out now?!" Lucas shouted after him, his arms outstretched.

Turning back to face him, "Yeah, it all comes out now... You know, I bit my tongue for the past few months, because Peyton asked me too. But not now- not anymore..." He walked away from him again,

"Nathan!"

Still walking away, "No, Lucas."

"Nate, I'm your brother. We-"

Now, suddenly fuelled by his irritation and anger, this would be the last time he spoke to Lucas today, he was too enraged to carry on, "No, you don't get to play the brother card. You don't get to claim that because we're family, I automatically take your side. It doesn't work that way..."

He walked out, leaving Lucas with his own thoughts.

As much as Nathan loved his brother, he wasn't ready to let this one slide.

---

Haley was led facing up, looking up at the ceiling, while the doctor, who Haley had learnt was Dr. Heath during their time together, was pressing down on her stomach.

"Hmm..."

He seemed to forget that beneath his gloved hands was a human who was getting more and more confused and nauseous by the second. He made this murmur and moved on with his thoughts; Haley furrowed her brow, and looked at him,

"Hmmm?"

"Excuse me?"

"You 'hmm'd... I'm just wondering why you're making that sound."

He laughed nervously, pulling down her top for her, and stepping back over to his desk, "Well, I can feel something..."

"Something? You- you can feel something? What kind of something can you feel?"

"I can't give you any more information than that... Not without further tests."

"But- but-" She rested her head on her hand, and sighed, "I've had a lot of tests today. Can they not-"

"Well, these are inconclusive..." he gestured to the folder in his hands,

"I'm sorry, what does that mean?"

"It means we need to do more... I'd like you to stay overnight."

"No. No, I can't do that. I have a son and a husband, and I can't leave them..."

"Mrs. Scott... I really think you should do this."

"No. I don't want to tonight. I'm sorry... I just- I don't want to."

"That's fine. That's alright..." He said, not wanting to cause her any more discomfort, and seeing her already grow more and more disorientated with every worried breath she took in. "But maybe sometime next week?"

She stared off, just past the desk and the ugly lamp that sat before her, thinking carefully about when she could do it. "I- uh, yeah... Yeah."

"Good... Do you want to ring the office later, and book a time in? I know with a family it can be very stressful, but this really is best. If only so that you can feel at ease about it."

"Yeah- Sure... Yeah..."

He smiled at her, comfortingly.

"So, uh, are we done here?"

"Oh, yeah." He wrote down a number and handed her a card, "That's the office. Call anytime."

"Thanks."

He smiled again, that doctor-smile that was meant to try to permeate some ideal that you would be fine if you just thought positively. She got up from her chair, her head spun and she tripped back onto the arm of the chair, laughing nervously.

"I can prescribe you something for the nausea and dizziness."

"No, it's fine."

She attempted to get up again, and a similar thing happened, she smiled at Dr. Heath "Yeah, actually, do you mind?"

---

Peyton shut her eyes at the knocked door, she decided to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would just leave her to her silence. It didn't matter how clean she felt, she wasn't ready to see anyone, or more to the point, have them see her.

"Peyton Sawyer?"

She smiled a little at the familiar voice, and went to unlock the door,

"Brooke send you?"

"She was worried." He smiled, as he stepped over the threshold. "How are you, girl?"

She shrugged, trying to seem light about the whole thing, but he could see the contortion in her mouth as she tried to turn away quickly,

"Come here, Peyton..."

He held out his arms, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her in for a hug, "It's gonna be okay..."

She nodded, "Yeah..." She sighed, "I'm beginning to think so..."

---

Haley was sat on a bench outside the hospital; after being poked and prodded for the past hour, she was glad to be out of the stifling heat and into the cold breeze, despite the fact that she was losing the feeling in her fingers. She blew into her cupped hands, warming them slightly and smiling at an elderly couple that passed her on the way from the hospital. Her eyes were glassy as the breeze hit her face, and she slid her hands into the pockets of her jacket, and using this to wrap it around herself tighter, barricading out the cold air that she was sat in.

Nathan pulled up in front of her, and seeing Haley's distracted face stare out into the car park, he wound down his window and called to her,

"Hales?"

She jumped back into reality and smiled at him, "Hello." She said, gathering her stuff and rising up from the bench.

She opened the car door, and Nathan took all her things off of her, putting them into the back seat.

"What did they say?"

"Oh." She clicked her seatbelt into place, "Just a stomach flu..."

She watched the automatic doors of the hospital open and close as her and Nathan drove away.

---

Brooke thanked Owen for dropping the two of them home and leaned forward from the back seat, kissing Owen lightly on the cheek; and smiling as she turned back, undid Joanna's seatbelt and took her out of the car.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Owen?"

"Of course," He smiled back, "Ring me if you need anything."

"Thanks..." She took Joanna into the porch, struggling to balance Joanna on her hip and open the door.

It opened for her, revealing Peyton, "Hey, B. Davis." She said, smiling- it wasn't a smile that told Brooke everything was okay, but it also wasn't face and hiding her pain. It was exactly how Peyton was feeling: vulnerable, but better-equipped to deal with the world again. And that was enough for Brooke...

"P. Sawyer..." She smiled, cupping her face, and then walking through with Joanna and her things,

"Hi, ." Joanna said, smiling at Peyton and receiving a warm smile back.

For the first time, instead of seeing everything she had lost with the sharp, shooting pains, Peyton saw everything she had.

"Come here, Joey..." She said, taking her off of Brooke. "How was your day?"

She slumped down on the sofa with the little girl, and positioned her on her lap so that she was facing her. The girl chattered away with the adventures of her, Brooke and Owen.

Brooke stopped for a second and looked at the two of them. As much as she had tried to stay positive, she finally felt like her smiles and pep-talks were actually working, she loved knowing that she had helped her friend.

---

Haley got home, smiling as the central heating and dim lighting provided a warm embrace for her to climb into.

"You okay, Hales? You need anything?"

"Where's Jamie?"

"Uh, Skillz should be here. Go sit down. I'll send Jamie through."

She nodded, and walked through to the living room, falling back onto the sofa and waiting for her son to come through.

"Hey, baby..." She said, as she saw his bright face come in through the door, "How was school?"

"It was good, mama."

"That's good..." She said, stroking his head as he buried his face into her, "You have fun with Uncle Skillz?"

She felt him nod up against her, she smiled.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I am. You been worried?"

Another nod into her.

"Aw, there's no need... I'm fine..."

He smiled.

"You got homework?"

He nodded, his face the picture of irritation.

"Then get going with it, boy..." She laughed, slapping his bottom as he got up from the sofa.

She laughed as she watched him trudge off up the stairs.

She watched Nathan's face appear around the doorframe, she smiled at him, "He looks happier... You look better, too."

"Yeah..."

They both heard the phone ring, Nathan went to grab it, but Haley got there first, "It's fine..."

She picked it up,

"Hey, Luke."

Nathan pulled a face and walked off, leaving Haley confused,

"No, I'm not busy."

"Good... I guess, Nathan told you about me and Peyton."

"Yeah..." She frowned, detecting that note of melancholia about him, "How are you doing?"

"Well, I'm alive."

"That's always a plus..."

He laughed half-heartedly, "Did I have this coming, Hales?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Leaving... Is this my karma or something?"

"No... I don't think she did this to get back at you." She heard him groan, "It's been hard, Luke... For both of you..."

"Yeah, and I left her..."

"Yeah... That was tough. But I-" she sighed, "This isn't revenge, Lucas... This is just what she needs."

"What about what I need?"

"Come on, Lucas... Even you're not that selfish..." She said, her eyebrow raised.

"I know... I don't mean that." She heard him exhale, sorrowfully, "I just- The house feels weird..."

"Mmm..."

Nathan walked back through and frowned when he saw she was still on the phone, "What?" She mouthed to him, he shook his head and walked off.

She realised Lucas had been quiet for a little while now,

"Lucas?"

"Yeah."

"You're gonna be fine... Even if this is the end for you and-"

"What?"

"I mean, even if this is the end for you and Peyton, you're still going to be fine."

"This isn't the end, Haley."

"I'm sorry, Lucas, but I really don't think that's up to you..."

He was silent for a moment, but then his voice came back, now more calm and strong,

"I'm gonna get her back, Haley."

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, not much Brucas (romance or friendship) so far... Trust me, that will eventually change. But I mean, hopefully you'll agree, it kind of wouldn't be appropriate right now. With Brooke looking after Peyton, and herself and Joanna. So yeah, don't worry, there will be some. I just think it should happen properly.**

_**Disclaimer: The lyrics belong to Elvis Costello 'Alison'... Hopefully, you'll remember that Peyton (and her dad) said it was her favourite album. **_

**Please review. **


	3. Ch 3: Dare You To Move

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. XD**

**Okay, so this is my contribution to the New Year. YAY! The last two chapters have been just creating the setting, but now I'm going to start pushing the plot along. WOO! **

**I personally really like this chapter, just because of a few of the scenes... Such as a Peylian scene and a lot of the Browen moments. Oh, and I love the Breyton-content.**

**But hey, that's just me.**

**Oh. And for Naley fans... There isn't as much in here as I would like, but trust me, that will all change next chapter because of... well... You'll have to see. =D**

**Hope you like it. Please, keep reviewing. **

* * *

Peyton sat on the sofa, ice cream tub in hand, shovelling it into her mouth as quickly as the previous mouthful had slid down her throat. She looked over at Joanna, who was just watching TV absent-mindedly, laughing at the cartoons.

"You want some?" She asked, offering the spoon to her.

She nodded, and Peyton took a spoonful and fed it to her,

She took the spoon into her own mouth and balanced it with her tongue as she murmured, "It's good, right?"

"Mmhmm..." The girl laughed out, watching Peyton make puffy cheeks and then swallow it down.

She clutched her head, "Brain freeze! Brain freeze!"

Joanna howled with laughter and then turned as she heard the front door open, squealing, "Brooke!"

"Hello, my girls..."

She looked over the couch, kissing Joanna on the top of the head,

"Nice to see you eating, P. Sawyer, I was starting to worry."

She walked into the kitchen, throwing all her belongings onto the counter, too tired to hold them up anymore.

"Yeah, speaking of that..."

Brooke opened the fridge and looked in, seeing how bare it was.

"I kind of couldn't stop..."

Brooke laughed, "That's okay, all I wanted was a..." She reached in, "Month-old yoghurt and some stale bread."

"Hey, that's sounding pretty good to me about now," She muttered to Joanna,

The little girl laughed and then carried on watching TV.

"I'm so sorry, Brooke. I'll order pizza or something..."

"It's fine," She smiled, taking a can of soda and emptying it into a glass, "So you've got to the comfort-eating part of the depression?" She asked, walking over to the armchair and slumping down into it, exhausted.

"Hey, I'm not depressed!"

"P. Sawyer..." She raised her eyebrow,

"What? I'm not!!"

"P. Sawyer..." Joanna said, in almost the exact same way as Brooke.

Joanna crawled across Peyton and leant over the arm of the chair to be picked up by Brooke,

"See, us Davis girls are just intuitive..."

"Yeah..." Joanna agreed, not really understanding what she was agreeing with.

"Don't gang up on me!" Peyton laughed, covering her face from the prying eyes of the two girls. "I'm really- I'm not depressed." The two stared at her, unconvinced, "I'm not!"

"Okay... Okay... But you haven't eaten for a few days and then when you do, you eat everything in sight. And you do realise you haven't left the house in a week."

"It has not been a week."

"Yes, it has, Peyton. And that's fine. But I don't want you to really start to heal and _then _realise you have to face the world, you know?"

"Yeah..." Peyton had tried to forget the outside, she just wanted to stay wrapped in the warm, fuzzy feeling the Davis household had provided for her.

"Don't you have work?"

"I own the label..." She said, then admitting: "And I just can't face that place now."

Brooke nodded, knowing how difficult it must be for Peyton to even think about returning to the building Lucas had given her. "You could always work from home..." She offered.

"I know..." Peyton laughed, tiredly, "I know I should be working. I should be focussing my energies on creating great music. But I can't... I'm just- I'm not ready. I will be..."

"Just not now..." Brooke finished her sentence for her.

Peyton nodded, she looked down at Joanna who was getting into a comfy position regardless of how Brooke was sat. Joanna looked back up at her, the two smiling at each other and she began to make her way back across Brooke and the arm of the sofa to see Peyton. Peyton caught her in her arms, and laid her across her lap, tickling her tummy as she did so and then letting the girl find a comfortable way to lie before going back to watching TV- now bored of the grown-up talk. "Hey, at least I got to spend time with Joanna..."

"Mm..." Brooke moaned, smiling at the two of them. She loved Peyton and Joanna, they were her family, and she was so happy to finally see the two of them together without tears in Peyton's eyes.

"And Owen..." Peyton turned to face her, one eyebrow raised.

Brooke smiled, tilting her head and shaking it slightly.

"He does spend a lot of time around here, you know..." She smiled at Brooke who was trying to hide her creeping blush,

"I hadn't noticed." She joked.

"Oh really?"

The two girls smiled at each other.

"Well, I like him..." Peyton shrugged,

"Maybe you should date him then."

"You really want another triangle appearing in our friendship, Brooke?"

The two girls laughed at their past as if it was nothing but a light-hearted chapter in their lives as opposed to the damaging, dark time it was. It was nice that they had reached this place again, where boys were the ever-changing addition to their friendship and not the basis of it.

---

Haley perched herself at the end of her and Nathan's bed, she looked down at the phone in her hand that she was yet to dial.

"Babe?" Nathan poked his head around the door, causing her to jump. She subtly hid the phone between her legs, turning and smiling at him.

"Hey..."

"I'm just gonna get in the shower, okay?"

"Yeah... Yeah, okay." She smiled, nodding a little too enthusiastically.

"Alright..." He smiled, disappearing behind the door and then quickly looking back in, "You alright, Hales?"

"Yeah." She smiled, "I'm fine."

"Glad to see you're feeling better."

She turned back around, looking down at the phone in her lap that was just out of Nathan's sight, "Yeah..."

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit."

She nodded, her back still to him. She shut her eyes and listened for the sound of the shower.

It started and her eyes shot open. She waited for a moment, her fingernails drumming against the hard plastic of the phone. She took it tightly in her hands, pressing in each number much harder than necessary, as if dialling with enthusiasm was somehow going to make everything better.

She pressed it against her face, listening to each ring and secretly praying no one picked up,

"Hello, Tree Hill General. Dr. Heath's Office, how can I help?"

"Hi, I know it's late. I was wondering if Dr. Heath was there for me to speak to?"

"Let me just see..."

"Thank-"

The phone cut to that dead silence that told you that you were on hold,

"I'm just transferring you."

Haley nodded, forgetting the person couldn't see her.

"Dr. Heath. Speaking."

"Hi, it's- it's Haley James Scott... You asked me to ring and make an appointment for some tests."

"Oh, you didn't need to speak to me."

"I know... I was just- I was wondering whether- I mean, is it-" She laughed nervously, "Is there any way that I can_not_ stay overnight?"

He sighed, not out of frustration, just sheer tiredness and she could hear him clicking through the database.

"I'm really sorry about this..."

"No. No, I understand, with your family and everything..." He hummed as he looked at the computer screen, to which Haley smiled, "Okay, here's the thing. I can try and get them all done in a day, if you come in early tomorrow? Is that gonna be okay? I know it's short notice..."

"No, that's fine. That's-" She sighed, "Thank you, Dr. Heath."

"No problem." She heard the smile from his tone of voice and assumed it was of the same persuasion as the one he had offered in his office,

"So, tomorrow?" She said, confirming in that way that Nathan always laughed at her for.

"Tomorrow morning. Come in about eight."

"Should be fun..."

He chuckled lightly, "Night, Mrs James-Scott."

"Goodnight."

She hung up and looked down at the phone, her mind racing with all the things that could be wrong. All the things that he could have felt when he pressed down on her stomach.

Nathan walked in, interrupting her thoughts; but one look at him in a towel and she realised she didn't mind.

He was looking through drawers when he noticed her stare, "Don't objectify me..."

"Hey, you're my husband, I can objectify you all I want."

"Is that just after 'In sickness and in health'?"

She shrugged, "Well, we did write our own vows..."

---

The two girls each threw their half-eaten crust into the pizza box,

"I'm glad we went with two..." Peyton sighed, resting her hands over her now bloated stomach.

"Yeah, me too. Me and Joanna might not have got a slice otherwise." She laughed,

"I'm sorry. I just- I can't stop." Peyton said, raising her hands apologetically.

"You feel empty and eating fills the void?" she asked, patronising Peyton with her armchair psychology.

Peyton shrugged, "I don't know... Maybe."

Brooke leaned forward and rest her hand on her chin as if thinking intently, miming stroking a beard. Peyton picked up a cushion and slammed into her face.

"Hey! I'm just trying to help!" Brooke squealed,

"Thanks, _Freud_" Peyton made a goofy face at the last word, and then laughed to which Brooke joined her, "I really don't need that kind of help."

"After my attack, I felt so powerless, you know?" Peyton nodded, "And speaking to a therapist really helped." She shrugged, "You don't have to... But, I mean, it's an option."

Peyton nodded, "Thanks..."

Brooke brushed the hair out of her face, tilting her head to the side and looking at her friend, really looking at her. "So, what _do_ you need, Peyton?"

Peyton sighed and looked around the room, taking in all the warm tones Brooke had used to decorate and even warmer people.

She sighed, "This is good..."

---

Lucas was tapping at his laptop, infuriated that nothing was making sense anymore. The words he wrote seemed like nothing more than a love letter to Peyton; everything he typed was always done from the point of view of someone who had been dumped by the love of his life. He angrily deleted his bitter and pitiful words and rested his head in his hands, unable to even look at the blank screen anymore.

The phone rang, and as annoyed as he would usually be by that, he was now thankful. He looked down at the name before answering, knowing that it could have been an unknown number and he would have still picked up,

"Hey, Julian."

"Hi, Lucas. Sorry to bother you so late... Are you busy?"

Lucas looked up at his blank screen, "Kinda..."

"I'll be quick. Just ringing to ask you about that scene..."

"Yeah..." Lucas sighed, "...That scene..."

"Still not done?"

"I'm sorry... I'm just- I'm struggling to be honest."

"Honest?"

"Well, everything I write is just- it's tainted..."

Julian sat back in his desk chair.

"I just- I am finding it hard to write the scene as it should be. Everything I write sounds like an apology to Peyton."

Julian sighed, "Hm..."

"So yeah, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be... I know this must be hard right now..."

"Yeah..." He paused, "How is she?"

"I couldn't tell you, I haven't seen her in a while..."

"No?"

"Uh-uh..." Julian went back to making notes as he listened. He was used to this: Hollywood had taught him how to separate his personal and professional life and how to keep them balanced.

"You swear?"

He stopped writing for a second, now listening to Lucas's voice which had become much more severe. "Do I swear?" He smirked, not really understanding where this hostility was coming from.

"Yeah..." Lucas replied, frankly, "Do you swear that you haven't seen _our _ex-girlfriend?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Whatever you want it to mean... I just want to know if you've seen her..."

"No, Lucas..." Julian stated, honestly, "No, I haven't seen her."

"Good." He was blunt, as he usually was with Julian when it came to Peyton.

"I'll see you later, Lucas." Then adding, "Write the scene..." He had learnt in this business of tetchy divas and temperamental managers that sometimes it was best to just end things before they got out of hand, and he could hear from the sound of Lucas's voice that he was likely to snap. More likely than usual.

"Sure. Bye."

The line was dead before Lucas managed to get the last word out.

Julian kept writing for a minute, his hand jerked across the page as he wrote out the last of his notes quickly. He slammed the pen down on the page, and sat back, rubbing his face in exhaustion.

Lucas put the phone down on the desk and then looked back at the screen.

Blank.

---

Nathan smiled from the bed, "Hey..."

"Hey..."

Haley had changed into her pyjamas and was now scurrying back into the room. She sat on her side of the bed for a second, looking at the wall in front of her. Nathan watched her for a while, rubbing his chin while he struggled to work out what his wife was thinking. He crawled over to her side and leaned over her shoulder, inhaling deeply as he rest his chin on her, "You okay, Hales? You've been a little quiet all night."

She took a deep breath and turned slightly to face him, she went to say something serious, she went to talk to him about her fears and let Nathan tell her that everything was going to be alright- that she had nothing to be worried about- but the words wouldn't come. She smiled for a second and looked into his eyes, "I'm fine..." She kissed him, gently sucking on his bottom lip.

He smiled back, examining her face for a sign that maybe there was something else she wanted to say, "Come to bed then..."

He got in the covers, and sat upright, waiting for her to join him. He patted her side of the covers, suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes and got into bed with him, smiling slightly. He put his hand around her waist and she breathed in deep. He leaned over her and turned off the lamp; the two sat with the streetlights from outside shining onto their bed through the thin curtains. Haley smiled as Nathan brushed the hair from her face back, kissing her neck. The two snuggled down deeper into the covers; Nathan with his arm around Haley's side and her pressing her back against his chest, their fingers intertwined about her middle.

The two closed their eyes and breathed in sync for a minute, enjoying the brief moment they had just with each other, and with no other obligations.

"I have to go somewhere tomorrow... I'll probably be gone all day."

"Oh yeah? Where you off to?"

Haley's eyes opened as she looked out into the darkness, Nathan still had his face buried in her hair.

"Teaching course..."

"Oh, okay..."

She felt his grip around her tighten as he gave her a squeeze and then loosen as he drifted off to sleep.

She sniffed into the silence, fighting the tears of fear and anxiety that threatened to fall.

---

It was the next morning and Peyton was lying on the sofa, alongside Joanna, watching TV like a kid on Saturday morning.

She leaned over the back of the sofa to see Brooke, "I've decided I'm going to properly tidy this place today..."

Brooke smiled, "Peyton, you don't have to..."

"No, I want to. I'll do everything... Dusty shelves, I'm dusting them. Unmade beds, I'll make them. Unclean toilets..." She stopped for a second, and pulled a face with wide eyes and a furrowed brow, "I'll just leave them..."

Brooke laughed, sipping on her coffee, "Not going to work today then?"

Peyton shook her head, "Pathetic, right?"

"Today's just not the day, P. Sawyer."

Peyton reached out and Brooke did the same and the two linked hands for a second before Peyton turned to face Joanna, "You off out today, hey sister?"

"Yeah, with Brooke and Owen..."

"Oh, Owen..." Peyton smiled, cheekily.

"Yes, Owen." She smiled, "He's my friend... He's Joanna's friend."

"Oh yeah, of course, Joanna's friend." Peyton stuck her tongue out and faced Joanna again, "Are you gonna be good, little girl?"

Joanna looked at Brooke and then nodded, giggling, "I'm always good..."

"What about last night when you robbed that liquor store? Hm...?"

The girls all laughed together, though how much of that joke Joanna got was a moot point.

---

"Hello, my boy!"

"Hey mama." Jamie said, as he hopped up onto the stool.

She turned giving him a bowl of cereal and kissed the top of his head, "There you go..."

She smiled as she turned back and put the cereal top back on,

"Junior!" Nathan yelled as he entered the kitchen, "You sure you want to go to basketball practice before school?"

"Yeah! I wanna see Uncle Lucas!" Jamie smiled and Haley laughed as Nathan ruffled Jamie's hair.

"You alright, sweetie?" Nathan asked, leaning over the breakfast counter and kissing her,

"Yep." She smiled, "My cab should be here anytime soon."

"Cab?" Nathan looked up from helping Jamie, "Why aren't you driving?"

"Oh... Oh I just- I know I'll be tired later and I'd rather just take a cab..."

"Oh, sure..." He looked back down and Haley breathed a sigh of relief.

A car honked outside.

"And there it is..." She smiled. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she gave Jamie another kiss, "See ya, later, Jamie." She stood up onto her toes and kissed Nathan again, "See you, too..."

"Have fun..."

Haley stepped into the cab, and closed the door, breathing in deep.

"Hospital, please..."

---

"Come on, guys!!" Lucas yelled after the team as they ran drills.

"Lucas, it's seven thirty, give them a break..." Skills laughed out, patting Lucas on the shoulder,

"Sure..."

"Uncle Luke!" Jamie ran in, and Lucas turned, laughing. He picked him up and held him close to his face,

"How've you been, J. Luke?"

"Good."

"Hey Skills"

"Hey little man..."

Nathan walked into the gym, not wanting to speak to Lucas and so keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the team.

"Hey, Nate." Skills leaned in, clutching Nathan's hand and pulling him in, patting him on the back.

"Hey, Skills."

Nathan joined them all at the sidelines and watched the team,

Lucas turned to face him, "Hey, Nate, I wanted to-"

"Jamie wanted to see you, Luke." Their eyes met, "Not me..."

Lucas shut up quickly and nodded, turning back to the team.

---

Peyton looked around at the newly polished home she had just spent an hour cleaning, she smiled to herself. She noticed her old Converses lying on the stairs and picked them up, along with the magazines and made her way up the stairs. She ran her finger along the banister, checking that there was no dust that she had missed. Finding herself pleasantly surprised that there wasn't a trace.

She turned at the sound of the door opening, she caught her breath. Nathan walked through and she sighed with relief,

"Sawyer!" He yelled, looking around for her, "Sawyer, get your little, bony hermit-arse here now."

She smiled, traipsing back down the stairs,

"Scott..."

"There's my girl..." He smirked. And she leant in, her arms full, meaning he had to hug her. They both walked around to the sofa, falling down hard onto it. "How are you doing?" He asked, taking the things out of her hands and placing them on the coffee table.

"I'm alright, actually." She smiled,

"Good to hear." He tilted his head for a second, "Have you left the house yet?" she shook her head in response, "How come?"

She shrugged, "I don't know..."

"Peyton..." He nudged.

She laughed nervously, "I guess- I don't know..." She wrinkled her forehead, hesitating, "You really want to hear all this?"

"Peyton-" He sighed, "Aside from my wife, I think you might be my best friend... Of course, I want to hear it all."

She smiled, sighing a little, "I just- I feel safe here, you know?" Nathan nodded, "And I guess I find the idea of leaving it a little... terrifying..."

"After my accident, I felt the same way..."

She looked at him, discerningly, "You did?"

"It was just easier to be down... To keep drinking... To be depressed. I didn't have to work at it..." He looked down at his lap for a second, "I know how you feel with the 'terrifying'... Yeah, it can be kind of scary."

Peyton nodded, sniffing. "You spoke to him at all? How's he doing?"

"Uh... Yeah..." Nathan rubbed the back of his head, "We kind of had a fight-"

"You did?" Peyton furrowed her brow, "What about?"

"Well... You." He laughed, thinking for a second, "Reminds me of High School."

The two laughed for a second.

"Please don't fall out over me, or what's happening between me and Lucas."

"It's not about that... I just- You know how I feel about how he handled the... the..."

"The miscarriage." Peyton reassured him that it was okay for them to talk about it. "Yeah, you made your feelings about him quite clear." She smiled.

"Well, you can't tell me you agree with his leaving?"

"I don't know how I feel about it..." She confessed, "I couldn't deal with how I felt about everything that was happening. Let alone, deal with Lucas's side... I know that sounds horrible, it's kind of selfish really. But, I mean, he wouldn't talk to me about any of it..."

Nathan nodded. The two sat in silence for about a minute, and then he leant over and placed one hand over hers.

"So you coming out with me?"

Peyton laughed but shook her head, "I don't feel ready..."

"You sure?"

"Yeah..." She whispered out, looking up at him, "Thank you for coming to see me, though."

"Anytime..." The two hugged for a moment, Peyton sighing deeply.

Nathan got up from the sofa and Peyton went to walk him out, she stood up, "I haven't seen Haley for a while... Is she- Is she mad at me?"

"What? No... No, of course not."

"I just thought with her and Lucas being so close, that this might-"

"I don't think Haley would ever choose sides... She loves you, and she knows this is right for you..."

"You know, everyone keeps saying that... That this is right for me... But I just-" She shook her head, "I'm not sure..."

"What aren't you sure of?"

"Whether I can handle this... Whether I can be without him..."

Nathan smiled and pulled her in for another hug, "Come here..." She obliged, resting her hands on his back for a moment, "You're a tough one, Sawyer. You'll be fine."

---

"How many times are you going to ring before you realise I don't want to speak to you?" She laughed out,

"Haley?" He answered, his voice full of worry.

"I'm kidding, Lucas..." She sat up in her hospital bed, using their phone while they took out what felt like her entire blood supply. "So... What's with all the phone calls?"

"I just wondered if you'd spoke to Nathan."

"Nope. I'm on a-" She looked up at the nurse and then back down into her lap, "I'm on a teaching course..." The nurse tidied up around her.

"Oh, sorry to disturb you."

"No, it's fine. We're just, uh... We're taking a break..."

"Oh right..." He sighed, "So you haven't spoken to him?"

"Not since this morning... Why did something happen at practice?"

"No, nothing happened. We hardly spoke."

"Oh..." She frowned, "I'm sorry, Lucas. He's just- He's really upset about the whole thing..."

"Why does he get to be upset?"

"Because you hurt one of his closest friends..."

"Hey, she broke up with me..."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

Lucas looked down, "Yeah, I know..." He rubbed his face, it was obvious from his tired eyes that he hadn't slept well in a while. "I'm thinking about going to see her."

Haley sucked in air, harshly, grimacing as the nurse took the needle out of her arm.

"What? You think that's a bad idea...?"

"No... No, I just- I hit my leg on the table." She kept her gaze away from the nurse, "I don't think it's a bad idea- Just... What are you going to say?"

"I don't know..."

"And you're meant to be a writer..."

"Not for long, if I don't get rid of this block."

"You think seeing Peyton will help?"

"It couldn't hurt..."

She paused for a second, "That's not the only reason you're going to see her, is it?"

"No, of course not... I want to see if she's okay... I just- I miss her, Haley..."

"Yeah..." She sighed, "Look, it's none of my business what you say but just be careful, alright? You're both kind of fragile right now..."

"Yeah... Thanks, Haley..."

"No problem. Look I gotta go, I'll speak to you soon."

She hung up and looked up at the prying eyes of the nurse,

"I just don't want to worry anyone." She stated, firmly.

The nurse nodded, "Sure..."

Haley's eyes welled up, "You probably think I'm the worst person in the world..." She dabbed at her eyes with her fingers, trying to stop the tears,

"Sh... Of course not-" She reached into her pocket and took out a pack of tissues, handing her one, "Here you go, Mrs Scott." Her face was full of reassurance, "I just think maybe you shouldn't be going through this by yourself... The tests alone and the waiting can be scary."

"I'm sorry about this..." Haley muttered as she took another tissue, desperately trying to keep herself under control, "I just- I don't want to bother anyone... Not until I know if there's anything..."

The nurse nodded, "I've got four kids..." she smiled, "And I love all of them and my husband very much." She reached out and rubbed Haley's arm, "I know what it's like to not want to be a burden. But you've got to take of yourself every now and again..." The nurse smiled at her, her kind and worldly eyes taking a look at a younger version of herself. She straightened up, "I have to go. Dr. Ethan should be in soon."

"Thank you..." She whispered.

---

Brooke burst through the door,

"P. Sawyer! I'm just grabbing some of Joanna's stuff. I completely forgot to pick up my bag..."

"Sure..." Peyton said wandering out of Brooke's room.

Brooke grabbed her bag and went to walk back out of the door, stopping dead in her tracks,

"Do I smell furniture polish?"

"I told you I was cleaning..."

"Yeah, but I didn't believe you." Brooke exclaimed, inspecting the room now. "Wow... Thank you, Peyton."

"Brooke, please... It's the least I can do for you. You've been so great to me..."

"Aw..."

The two hugged, squeezing their faces tight with their smiles. Brooke suddenly opened her face, raising her eyebrows in confusion,

"Why is this place so quiet?"

"What?"

"You're not playing any music... Why aren't you playing any music?"

Peyton shrugged, "Nothing I want to listen to, really..."

Brooke playfully knocked on Peyton's head, "Hello, Can someone send out _my _Peyton Elisabeth Sawyer? Because this one does not compute..."

Peyton laughed lightly, "I just- Can't help but think of other things when I hear them..."

"For example?"

"For example... I used to always say that I would play 'Cure' records to my baby, and now I can't... And I just don't know how to feel okay when I listen to things like that anymore."

"Ah..." Brooke sighed, "You'll get there, eventually, Peyton..." She said, leaning forward and rubbing her shoulder.

"Maybe..."

Brooke smiled comfortingly before returning to her initial thoughts, "Oh right! I have to get back to work!"

They both turned to get Joanna and saw her now on the sofa, having taken off her shoes and coat and putting on the TV. Brooke rolled her eyes, laughing and went around to help her get ready again.

"Oooh, Peyton, can you go get me my sketchbook from the bedroom?"

"Sure"

"Where is Brooke's head today?" She asked the girl, putting on her shoes at the same time.

"There." Joanna replied, poking Brooke in the forehead, causing the two of them to laugh.

She heard a knock at the door, and went to answer it, but as she turned to get up she saw Joanna removing her shoes again. "No, baby..." She laughed, bending back down again.

"Where is it?" Peyton called from the bedroom,

"In my top drawer!"

"Top drawer... Top drawer..." Peyton muttered to herself, reaching in, "Got it!" She turned and made her way back into the living room.

Lucas stared impatiently at the door, tapping his foot. He was certain that Peyton had seen him through the window or the peephole and was now hiding behind the sofa or something. Then he heard Brooke's voice,

"Peyton, can you get that!?!"

He breathed a sigh of relief; at least she wasn't purposely ignoring him.

"Sure!" He heard her call back.

His body suddenly tensed up; as much as he wanted to see her, he was suddenly terrified of what his reaction to her face would be.

The door opened and there she was, blonde hair swept back into a ponytail and perfect green eyes staring back at him. And he watched as he saw her body do a similar thing to his own, her shoulders suddenly hunched as her entire body became rigid with anxiety.

"Hi... Hi, Luke"

"Hey, Peyton."

He nervously smiled in a way that used to make her melt, but now only made her more anxious of what was to come. She turned back into the house, "Uh..."

Brooke had looked up from getting Joanna ready and picked up her pace, grabbing Joanna up into her arms and taking her handbag up onto her shoulder in the same motion.

"Hey, Lucas..."

"Hey, Brooke." Lucas replied, lifting his hand as a greeting.

Brooke took a moment, her eyes dancing between the pair.

"I'm off, Peyton..." She walked past the two of them; she sighed briefly and subtly, secretly hoping that that the two didn't get back together, at least not for the moment- Peyton still needed time. "I'll see you later". Peyton put her hand on Brooke's shoulder, and she sensed the desperation in her friend: they had spoke about how Peyton would leave the house, how she would go back to work, but as much as Brooke had tried to ease into the subject, what Peyton would do when she finally met Lucas again was something they hadn't covered.

"Bye, Brooke..."

"Yeah, bye..." Brooke smiled up at him, in an attempt to let them know that their friendship was still intact, however awkward it was now.

Peyton nodded at her, and Brooke offered a reassuring glance at her, before turning and walking towards her car, Joanna in tow.

"Uh, come in..." Peyton finally said, walking in and holding the door for him.

"Thanks..."

Brooke stepped into the car, sighing as she looked up at Owen.

"What's that about?"

She looked back at the door, which was closing.

"I have no idea..."

---

Haley was doing up her jeans, glad to finally be out of the hospital gown. She heard Dr. Ethan cough from behind the curtain to get her attention.

"Oh, erm..." She pulled the curtain back, "Hi."

"Is it alright for us to speak now?"

"Sure..." Haley swept the hair out from her jacket, "Here?"

"No, in my office."

"Oh okay." She grabbed her bag and followed him to his increasingly-familiar office door,

"Come in." He said, holding the door open for her. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh, I'm fine..."

"And that nausea medication, how did that work for you?"

"I uh- it didn't really..."

"No?"

She shook her head, and watched as he made a note, "Is that bad?"

"Only for you..." He smiled, a little, "It can't have been pleasant... And I'm sure your husband was worried about you."

"I uh- I didn't tell him about it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... I don't like him worrying."

"Of course. Has the nausea and cramps got worse?"

She nodded.

"That must have been difficult to hide..." He said, whilst making notes still.

"I wasn't- I wasn't hiding it..."

"No, I just mean- I didn't mean it an offensive way. Like you were being secretive or anything... I just meant- it must have-"

Haley looked up, noticing his nervous stammer, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's fine... Do you find you've been snapping at people more often lately?"

"I- uh... No, I've been too tired to really do anything."

"I see..."

"You see? I need more than that... What does that mean?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I need more than 'I see', I need to know why you're asking me this..."

He sighed, nodding, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Scott.-"

"And please, call me Haley... I don't like feeling like a patient."

"Haley... I don't know. We're doing all the tests we can. And as soon as I know something, you'll know something."

"When will the test results be back?"

"Two days at the latest..."

"Okay... And you can't tell me what you're looking for?"

He shook his head, "There'd be no point... I could list off a list of things that it _could _be... But you'd leave here feeling nervous that it could possibly be ten times worse than it is, or feeling completely elated because you think it's better than you actually are. And-"

"And you don't want to give me false hope..."

"Or unnecessary stress..."

She nodded, "Okay..."

"Now, I know we told you that you could go, but-"

"More tests?"

"One more..." He smiled, sympathetically. "An ultrasound... We just had a space free up."

"Sure..." She shrugged, completely empty.

---

Peyton sat across from him at the table, in a scene that seemed to recall how she had left him.

"Can I get you anything?" She offered, just anything to break the silence.

"No... No. I'm fine..."

"Oh, okay."

The two sat for at least a minute in perfect silence, unable to speak for fear of what would come out of their mouths.

"How are you, doing?" He looked up from the table, his face screwed up in embarrassment at the pitiful contribution to the conversation.

"Uh, I'm okay... I'm- you know, I'm surviving..." She admitted, "You?"

"Surviving..." He smiled slightly, and the two let out a nervous laugh.

And then back to the uncomfortable silence.

"You haven't been at work... I- I keep going to TRIC and you're not there..."

"Yeah, I haven't been up to it."

"I hear you haven't left the house in a while...?" Their eyes met as Lucas looked up from the table,

"Who told you that?"

"People..." Lucas shrugged, "Is it true?"

"What are you asking?"

"Am I not allowed to?"

"I'm just wondering why..." He looked down at the table, unable to meet her gaze, "Are you just trying to figure out how miserable I am?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... Are you just trying to figure out how I'm coping in a world without Lucas Scott?"

"I'm kinda curious, yeah..."

"Why?"

Her eyes never left his as she watched him word his answer mentally,

"Because I am struggling to see how you could have walked out on us... On everything we've been through." He paused for a second, "I just wanted to know whether you actually cared about any of it..."

"Of course I care..."

"Then how could you walk out?"

"I could say the same thing to you, Lucas Scott..." The two stared at each other, "How many times did you walk out on us?"

He looked down at the table, knowing she was right.

Peyton sighed, "I'm going to make some tea. Are you sure you don't want some?"

Lucas nodded, and Peyton arose from her seat, turning away from him for a second and taking a breath. She felt like she had been holding it in since she opened the door.

Turning back, "Do you still take-"

She turned and felt Lucas's lips on her own. She felt his hand about her waist, as he lightly fingered the skin just resting on her hipbone- the way he always did. He took his other hand and lightly brushed her cheek, moving it down to her neck and playing with the hair just at the back of her head. He gently bit down on her bottom lip, and then brushed his lips over the same spot. They pulled apart, his thumb just brushing her cheek as she sighed, looking down at the floor. He took his hand and pulled her chin up to look at him, smiling with his eyes as he caught his breath.

"Come home, Peyton."

She stopped and looked at him for a second; thinking about her reply carefully, as she watched him search her body in an attempt to guess what she was about to say. She put one hand over the one around her face and squeezed it before taking it off of her skin. She removed herself from his embrace and wiped her face as she turned back to face him.

"I-" She sighed, "I don't want to, Lucas..."

He took a step back, never taking his eyes off of her, just taking in that simple fact.

"Why?" He breathed out, not really wanting to hear an answer.

She looked back down, "I don't know..."

"You have to know..."

"No, I don't, Lucas. I don't know, I just- This-" She gestured to the home around her, "This _feels _right. I can't come home."

"Ever?"

"What?"

"Are you ever going to come home?"

She shook her head, "I can't answer that."

"Why not?" His voice shook with irritation. She jumped a little, and looked up; his face- full of indignation- stared back at her. "Why not?" he repeated, whispering, into the awkward silence.

"Because I don't know..." She admitted, "I can't say because I don't know..."

"Don't know what? Don't know if you'll ever love me again? Is that it?"

"What?"

"Well, you obviously don't love me, now..." He said, shaking his head.

"Of course I love you!" she yelled, "I love you so much Lucas..."

"Then come home, Peyton!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I- I can't explain it..."

"I need to know!"

"Because I can't look at you right now without remembering everything I lost..."

Lucas stopped for a second, thinking about what she meant, "The baby? I am sorry about our child, Peyton. I wish I could bring them back. I wish I could make it so that you can have children again. I, at least, wish that I could go back in time and stay with you while you were going through it..." His voice broke, "You have no idea how much I wish that... But I can't. I know it was a mistake, I make so many mistakes with you, Peyton... But I can't just let this one go. I need to fix this mistake. I can't let you go."

"This isn't just something you can fix, Lucas! This isn't just about the baby..." She whispered, putting one arm across her stomach, her elbow cupped by her hand and her chin resting on her other one, "This is about the fact that I have lost who I was. This is about the fact that when I look at you, I don't see Lucas Scott. The guy who I have been in love with for years now. The boy who never stopped saving me." She ran her fingers through her hair, and took the time to try and stop her lip from quivering and her eyes from filling up, "I see Lucas Scott. The guy who left me when I said "Someday". The guy who proposed and said "I do" to another woman."

"Peyton-" Lucas's voice pleaded, they had had this conversation before but no matter what he said, Peyton couldn't shake the fact that he had looked at her in the church and then said "I do." to another person.

"And yeah..." She spat out, "I see the guy who left me when I lost my child... When I lost the last of what I had."

Peyton turned and placed her hands on the counter behind her, resting all her weight on her arms as she looked up and then closed her eyes, "For a long time, I have slowly let myself rot away... And when my baby died..." She rest her hands on her stomach, "So did the last of me..."

She turned to face him, opening her eyes; she watched his face react to everything that they had said to each other in the past five minutes.

He took a deep breath, "So you don't know whether you'll be coming back..."

Peyton sighed, irritated at his lack of response to everything she had just told him, "At the moment, I _know_ I'm not..."

"Can I change your mind?"

"Luke, I need time... I need to heal... I need to feel like me again."

"Am I really that bad for you?"

"What?"

"I just- Am I really so bad that you just rot away when you're with me...?"

"No... No, this isn't your fault. It was happening anyway... You and I just happened at the same time."

He shook his head, turning away from her for a second,

"I love you, Peyton..." he whispered, his back still turned to her, his shoulder hunched.

"I love you too... I just-"

Lucas reached behind him for her hand and took hold of it; he turned to face her, "You can't be with me, right now."

She shook her head, fighting back tears and agreeing with him. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it gently and then looked back up into her eyes.

"I'm gonna fight for you, Peyton."

She let go of his hand, and watched as he walked out of the kitchen. She shut her eyes and listened to the door shut, as she heard his car drive away she collapsed to the floor, whispering, "It's okay... It's okay..." She wrapped her arms around herself, just staring at the door she had watched him walk out of. Her breathing was shallow, his appearance had caught her completely off guard. She thought about everything she had just told him. How vulnerable she suddenly felt. Tears fell as she thought about how much she really did love Lucas Scott. How much it hurt her to watch him go. She knew this was right, she knew she needed to be away from her, she needed to find herself... But she needed him. She had lived an entire life needing him, and without that what was she?

Nothing.

She was just nothing again. And that thought scared her more than anything else.

She jumped back from her trance as the phone rang,

"Hello?"

"Hey, P. Sawyer."

"Brooke..." She breathed a sigh of relief, happy to hear her voice.

"You okay?"

"Mmhmm..." She mumbled out.

"And how are you, really?"

"Oh God, I don't know..."

"How was he?"

"He was... Lucas Scott..."

"How was the big speech?"

"How did you-"

"It's Lucas... There's always a big speech."

Peyton smiled a little, and the two friends played a little montage of the great Lucas Scott speeches in their heads.

"I told him I wasn't coming home..."

"Good." Brooke spoke, before she really even thought about how they could have been interpreted.

"Good?"

"I just mean... I'm glad you're still taking the time to think about everything."

"Yeah..." Peyton shut her eyes and let the silent tears fall,

"Peyton?"

She hid every trace of sadness from her voice, "Yeah..."

"You may want a tissue..."

Peyton stopped for a second and laughed that her friend knew her so well.

"I just- I haven't really thought about him... I haven't let myself. And now, I've had to. And I just don't think I'm handling it very well..."

"You're doing fine..."

"I don't feel fine..."

"Trust me, you're really doing okay, Peyton."

Peyton nodded, wiping her nose on her sleeve as she stayed staring at the door.

"Where are you now?"

Peyton looked around the floor she was slumped down on, "Uh... Kitchen..."

"Okay, you're going to get up. You're going to go the living room and you're going to turn on my record player-"

"Brooke-"

"And you're _going _to put on the music you love and-"

"Brooke, I don't think my records are going to work..."

"Peyton, you talk about how you've lost yourself, and how you need to get back to who you really are."

"Yeah..."

"Well, there was a time, when you said music healed you. And there was a song for every moment in time. That girl is still in you, Peyton. You haven't lost her."

She bit her lip, "I know..."

"So I want you to put on the record for this moment, and I want you to cry all this out of you..."

"What?"

"I can hear you holding back tears, I can hear the shake in your voice. If you don't get rid of this horrible feeling, you're going to feel crappy for the rest of the day. So just do it- Sob your heart out. There's no one there. And I know you're going to feel better..."

---

Brooke hung up the phone, and looked down at her sketches,

"You ever thought about being some kind of self-help guru?" Millie asked. Brooke laughed at the suggestion, raising her head slightly and looking up at Millie who was behind the counter; before shaking her head and looking back to her sketches.

"You alright, Brooke?" Owen asked, turning around from putting something on the top shelf for her.

"I think so..." She nodded, tilting her head and resting it on his arm for a moment. Just taking a breath before she had to be Super Brooke again. She was thinking about Peyton and how saw she must be, she let her mind wander to Sam and where she was eventually just letting it go blank for a second and thinking about what surprising comfort Owen's arm provided. Her eyes drifted onto Peyton's dress, she breathed in deep, "Owen?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Would you mind moving Peyton's- uh, that dress into the back for me?"

Millie shuffled in her place a little, Brooke had been adamant to keep it out, certain that Lucas and Peyton would soon have worked it all out. A silence descended over the room as they all thought about the implications of her asking it to be moved out of sight.

"Of course..." Owen breathed out.

She watched as he delicately picked it up, taking care of it as if it was about to break.

"Thank you..." She whispered with closed eyes, as he passed her.

She looked back down at her sketches, her fingers traced the designs she had in her head over her the page- she wasn't quite ready to put pencil to paper.

She heard the bell above the door ring as someone passed through,

"Oh, hey Julian."

Brooke turned towards the door, a smile on her face, "Hey."

"Hey, Brooke." He turned to Joanna who was on one of the chairs, "And hello Joanna!" He exclaimed, bending down to speak to her.

"Hi Julian..." She replied.

He reached into his pocket, and looked up at Brooke, holding a lollypop between his fingers, "She allowed this?"

Brooke nodded, to which Joanna squealed and took it off of him, hungrily unwrapping it and putting it in her mouth. "Thank you" She mumbled, not taking the lollypop out. Julian laughed, tilting his head to look at Brooke, "You not feeding her?"

"Well, no... But don't tell Social Services." She smiled, and Julian laughed again as he rose to his feet, walking over to the counter.

She gestured with her head over to Joanna, "You always win girls over that easily?"

"I wish..." He shuffled restlessly, "You heard anything about Sam?"

Brooke shook her head, not wanting to speak the words again, "I called the detective who's handling this case and he said there were no new leads or anything. So..." She shrugged, "I just have to keep hoping..."

"Sure... I'm sorry, Brooke."

She nodded, accepting his genuine sympathy. As much as he told her that, she still felt that he meant it every time.

He sighed quietly, and she sensed uneasiness in his stance, "Hey, you okay, Julian?"

"Yeah, I'm fine..."

"You sure?"

"I just- It's nothing..."

"You don't look like someone who's got nothing on their mind..." She urged,

"Just a weird conversation with Lucas last night..."

"Oh yeah?" She said, walking around to the other end of the counter, and putting her sketches into the drawer.

"Yeah, about Peyton..."

"I guessed..."

"You did?"

"Well, you get kind of-" She gestured to his face, "Flustered when you talk about her..." She smiled.

"I do not..."

"Yeah, you do." She locked the drawer as she always did now, "Were you always this protective of her?"

"I didn't realise I was now..."

Brooke shrugged nonchalantly, "So... A weird conversation?"

"Just about '_our_ ex-girlfriend'" He said, putting air quotes and an appropriate tone around certain words.

She nodded, understanding now what he meant by 'Weird.' She ran her fingers through her hair, "He's just terrified to lose her..." She sighed out; he paused for a second at her tone, unable to place where the sadness in her voice was coming from.

He nodded, "How about you?" He rested his elbow on the counter, "How's taking care of our fallen soldier?"

She smiled, kind of tired, "I think we've just had... a setback..."

"Yeah?"

She bit down on her lip, "Yeah..." Julian looked at her; she could tell from his expression that though he was desperate to know what was going on with her, he didn't want to pry. She glanced up at Millie,

"I'll just- I'll go play with Joanna."

Brooke nodded, thanking her, she turned back to Julian who was now more interested than ever, "Her and Lucas just had a fight."

"What?" He said, standing back up, his body tense.

She raised her hands, "I don't know how big it was, or what was said- I wasn't there or anything. He came around just before I left... And when I rang her, she said they'd had a fight, she was crying, she was panicking, she was-." She shook her head, her eyes kind of glassy.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I just- Look, me and Peyton have been through a lot... And, I just don't think she deserves any of this..."

"I know..." Julian nodded.

The two stood for a second in silence, while Brooke fanned her face and looked up trying to forget the sound of Peyton's sobs over the phone. Joanna came running over, "Brooke, you okay?" Her little innocent face was creased with worry,

"I'm fine, baby. Got something in my eye." Brooke replied, sniffing.

Owen came from the backroom, "Hey Julian."

"Owen, how you doing?"

"I'm good, man. Yourself?"

"I'm doing alright..." He smiled back, the two had a mutual respect for each other that had grown in the aftermath of Sam's disappearance and Peyton's miscarriage. They had learnt the true decency in each other that had come out while they helped Peyton and Brooke through their respective difficult times.

Brooke picked up Joanna and swung her legs about her waist, kissing her nose. Joanna giggled before reaching for Owen; he took her around her side and held her up, so that she was at eye level with him before lowering her back down to around his chest. Brooke leaned in, chuckling with her and Joanna leant forward from Owen and kissed Brooke on the cheek. Brooke squealed at the adorableness of the act and Owen took Joanna back into a more comfortable position, placing her legs around him and balancing her with his arm.

Julian looked at the three of them for a while, taking in their smiles and laughter. He leaned into the group, placing a hand on Brooke's arm, "Things are gonna be okay, Brooke..."

She looked up at him,

"I hope so..."

He smiled at Joanna, "Take care of Brooke, girly..." Brooke laughed and watched as he walked out, all the worry from the conversation about Peyton now firmly rooted on his shoulders. However he felt about Peyton now, Brooke could tell that their love from before was something that he couldn't forget. And she kind of sensed that he really didn't want to forget everything they'd been through, no matter how painful.

She looked back at Owen and Joanna who were taking it in turns to pull faces at each other. For a moment, Brooke was happy. Not just okay. Not just coping. But actually happy.

---

Peyton shuffled around the living room for a second, not really sure what to do. Her mind was a haze of confusing thoughts. Her mind searched for something to make sense finally landing on Brooke's words of advice about listening to music and letting it heal her.

She let her hands run along her now dust-free collection, biting her lip to keep from bursting into tears. She let her mind focus on nothing but the records in front of her, too scared to let it drift onto anything else.

She thumbed her way through her catalogue of memories, stopping at one particular album, and pulling it out. She eyed the cover for while through blurred vision and then put it on, listening to the crackle of the record, Peyton shut her eyes, and sighed deeply,

"_It's hard to listen to a hard, hard heart..."_

"_Beating close to mine..._

_Pounding up against the stone and steel_

_Walls that I won't climb..."_

Haley led down on a bed, lifting her top above her naval so that the nurse could get to her stomach. She winced as the cold gel hit her skin. The nurse smiled at her sympathetically, running the scanner across her stomach. Haley sniffed and kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling, sick of watching the people and their sympathetic smiles.

"_Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep_

_You think that you're gonna drown._

_Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep_

_With all this rain falling down."_

Peyton fell back against the wall, her tears streaming hot against her face. She gulped and gasped as her hand grappled for something to hold onto, tightly, supporting her whole body.

"Oh My God..." She slid down the wall, landing in a heap on the floor. Her body convulsing as she cried everything that she was holding onto inside of her out.

"_Strange how hard it rains now._

_Rows and rows of big, dark clouds._

_When I'm holding on underneath this shroud..._

_Rain..."_

She was cold.

Alone.

Scared.

"I don't know what to do..." She muttered out, "I miss him..." She whispered into the room, her chest heaving in and out. It didn't matter that there was no one replying. There was no one listening.

"_It's hard to know when to give up the fight._

_Two things you want will just never be right..._

_It's never rained like it has to night before."_

Brooke looked out at Owen and Joanna playing just outside the shop. Owen had taken her out to splash in the newly-forming puddles. She smiled as he pretended to swim through the raindrops, picking up Joanna and letting her do the same by holding her out horizontally. Brooke laughed at the two of them.

"He's pretty great..." Millie said, Brooke turned to face her, "You know, with Joanna..."

Brooke looked back before turning and looking through some drawers, she smiled to herself. Owen and Joanna knocked on the window, and pretended to be fish in an aquarium, waving at her. Brooke waved back, laughing, "He's such a goofball..."

Millie watched, smiling to herself, as she saw Brooke's eyes light up at Joanna's laughter.

"_Now I don't wanna beg you baby,_

_For something maybe you could never give..._

_I'm not looking for the rest of your life,_

_I just want another chance to live..."_

Lucas walked back into his house, slamming the door behind him.

He rubbed his jaw, as he paced up and down in the living room.

"God!" He yelled, his hands meeting behind his head, as he leant back, looking up; before shutting his eyes and breathing deep.

He looked at the photos that stood over the fireplace, and walked over, picking one up and laughing at the picture: him, Peyton, Brooke, Nathan and Haley all stood in someplace he really couldn't remember. But it looked fun. It looked better than the world they were living in now. It looked like a time the world had stripped them of the remaining innocence they had left. They looked hopeful.

He smiled, letting his fingers stroke over the glass. He inhaled deeply, throwing it at the wall. He was sick of living in yesterday. He was sick of a blank mind, devoid of words and even the right sentiment.

He stared down at the cracked photo, paying particular attention to the shattered glass that lay over the part with Peyton and Brooke hugging.

"_Strange how hard it rains now,_

_Rows and rows of big, dark clouds._

_When I'm holding on underneath this shroud._

_Rain..."_

Brooke came home, opening the door to find Peyton crumpled on the floor, still sobbing, the record having long scratched off. She handed Joanna to Owen, who looked down on Peyton with an aching heart.

Brooke crouched down next to Peyton, taking her in her arms and resting her head on her shoulder.

"Shh... It's okay... I'm here now, Peyton..."

Owen took Joanna into her room, shutting the door to give them Peyton some privacy, knowing how vulnerable she must feel right now.

"I miss my baby, Brooke." She choked out, "I want my baby back..."

"I know..." Brooke whispered, "I know..."

She held onto her, tightly. Peyton inhaled deeply, taking in everything she could. Breathing in Brooke's kindness.

"Hey, Brooke..."

"Yeah...?"

"Believe it or not... This cry really did help."

Brooke smiled, listening to Peyton's sobs gradually subside.

---

Owen was sat alongside Joanna reading her a story when Brooke eventually walked through the door,

"Hey..." She whispered.

"How is she?" He said, getting up so that Brooke could sit next to Joanna.

"She's doing much better. I think she needed it, to be honest."

"Sure... Where is she now?"

"She's on the sofa. I made her some tea, now that she's settled."

Owen nodded, looking down at Joanna, "I gotta go, buddy, okay? But I'll see you soon..."

Joanna smiled, "Tomorrow?"

Owen was unsure of what to say, "Uh..."

"Yeah, tomorrow." She jumped in, then looking up at him, "If he wants to see us..."

"Course I do." He smiled, "So, I'll see you tomorrow, Joey..."

"Bye, Owen..." She waved at him, which he returned.

He turned to leave, Brooke watched him, "Owen?" He turned back, "Just... Thank you... For everything today..."

"Don't mention it." He raised his hand to say goodbye, and left.

Peyton was sat on the sofa, looking into her tea when Owen passed her.

"Bye, Owen..." She turned to face him, resting one arm on the back of the sofa, "Sorry about all this..." She said, embarrassedly.

"Hey..." He leaned forward, placing his hand on her forearm, "You don't have to apologise for anything..."

She smiled. "Then I'll thank you..."

He smiled, "See you later, Peyton..."

"Bye..."

---

Haley walked out of the hospital for the first time in eight hours, the cold rain hit her face and was a welcome change from the humidity that she had experienced all day.

She saw her taxi from across the car park and sighed, "Typical..." She muttered, the one time she would have been glad for a wait and they arrived on time.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out,

"Hey, husband..."

"Haley, your phone's been off all day..."

"Lucas kept ringing me and it was disturbing my course..."

"Oh, right... Lucas rang you?"

"Mmhmmm..."

"What did he say?"

"Well, you not speaking to him in practice... And he spoke about going to see Peyton."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Hm."

"You sound angry?"

"Not angry... Just irritated, surprised."

"That he went to see her...?"

"That it took him so long..."

---

There was a knock at the door, Peyton exhaled loudly, praying it wasn't Lucas again. She just couldn't take another talk with him, another look at his face as he pleaded her to come home. And at the moment, she still didn't quite know the words that would make him understand, because she didn't really understand herself. She really felt okay for the moment- Brooke had sat with her and they had talked about everything for the first time since she had left Lucas- but seeing him would just shatter any hope she had for keeping that way for the rest of the night.

With all these thoughts racing through her mind, she walked towards the door. Tugging it open, unenthusiastically, she was shocked to see Julian just about to walk away.

"Hey," he turned back, smiling.

And suddenly her mind was blank.

"Hey..."

He laughed, and put his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet.

The two stood for a second; Peyton not really understanding why he was stood in front of her, and Julian not really knowing what to say.

Peyton put all her weight on one hip; the shift in her body weight being the break in the thick awkwardness that was needed, she sighed, smiling, "Can I help you?"

He looked her up and down for a second, and then took one hand and reached out,

"Come on, Peyton..." He smiled,

She took a step back, surprised by his gesture. Her body froze as she kept her eyes on his outstretched hand,

He laughed nervously again, but not budging from his command,

"I dare you..." He smiled, wickedly.

She tilted her head and looked up at him, assessing his offer, she took a look at his hand again and sighed, reaching her own out and placing it in his.

"Okay." She whispered, barely believing her own words.

He pulled her reluctant body through the doorway as she laughed slightly, glad that someone had literally pulled her back into reality.

Brooke had watched from the bedroom doorway. She smiled to herself- a smile that was reserved for when Peyton looked happy, unfortunately its use had become more and more sporadic over the years.

"Way to go, Julian..." She whispered into the quiet.

---

Haley stepped in the front door, closing it behind her, she listened out for any noise to indicate where her family was. She smiled as she heard the TV in the next room, and the two cheering at some basketball game.

She leaned against the doorframe, looking in, until Nathan saw her. She hovered for a second, unsure what to tell him, whether he would understand all her secrecy- she so desperately didn't want to worry Nathan, but she was terrified of what the doctor was going to tell her, what the results would be. She needed him.

"Jamie... Could you go upstairs for a second?"

"But Mama... It's just getting good."

Nathan looked at his wife for a second, sensing an emotional exhaustion about her, "Go upstairs for a second, son."

"Okay..." Jamie reluctantly skulked off.

"I- uh... I have to tell you something..." She said, rubbing her temple.

"What is it, Hales?" He got up to stand with her, rubbing her shoulder.

"I-" She laughed nervously, "I'm not sure what to say..."

"Haley, what's going on?"

She looked up at him and saw the concern all over his face, she couldn't add to it. Sighing deep, she practically whispered, "Er, nothing... I just- I saw Peyton out just a second ago."

"You did?"

"Yeah... With Julian..."

"Oh, really..."

"Yeah..." Haley sighed, but no tension was relieved from her chest this time. She was suddenly scared of everything. Of what would happen if something was really wrong with her, would Nathan stay with her, stand by her through it all, help her when she needed it.

She looked up at him, her eyes glassy.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Mmhmm..." She mumbled out, "Do you love me?"

"What? Where is this coming from?"

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, shrugging.

"Haley, I love you so much..." He leant down to meet her eyes, "Why are you asking this?"

She shook her head, and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing.

"Hales?"

"It's just been a long day..."

He nodded, holding her tighter while she wiped her tears.

---

Julian and Peyton walked past TRIC and Julian went to step inside. He turned, noticing Peyton had stopped.

"I can't go in there..." She whispered, shaking her head.

"Yes, you can, Peyton." He urged, walking behind her.

"I can't, Julian..."

"I've already called ahead. He's not in there..."

"You called ahead?"

"I have friends in high places."

"Owen?"

There was a beat of silence, "Yeah."

Peyton smiled in that way that replaced a laugh.

"You can do this, Peyton." He repeated, "We don't have to go to your office. We don't have to do anything... We just go in there. It's a step."

"I thought I took a step... I came outside."

"So take two steps today." He smiled, "Come on, Peyt."

He nudged her shoulder with his own, smiling, she groaned and walked forward.

"There we go..."

---

Brooke looked around the relatively empty house for a second. Apart from the faint sound of Joanna's snoring in the next room, the house was silent. She sighed deeply, glad for the moment alone. She loved Joanna. She loved her friends. But she loved these quiet times as well.

She sauntered around her living room, turning on the stereo to something laidback and quiet and wandering back to the kitchen to take her wine from the counter.

She took a sip while she sat down onto the sofa, taking a look at the empty side that seemed to stretch out for miles before her. She sighed deep, thinking about how desperately she wanted it to be filled with someone she loved who loved her back. And as much as she loved Peyton and Joanna, there was a part of her that even they couldn't fill and it had been so long since she felt needed, loved, by a man.

The phone burst into life causing her to jump, she ran to the phone, trying to get it before it woke up Joanna.

"Hello?" She answered in confusion.

"Miss. Davis?"

"This is her."

Her lip trembled as she listened to the man on the other end of the phone, her eyes were misty as she tried to understand.

---

Owen was cleaning a glass and taking a look at Peyton and Julian, sat in the corner of the bar. The place was relatively empty. But instead of this being a romantic time, there was a definite awkwardness that couldn't be shaken from the two of them. It wasn't out of dislike. Just two people unaware of where they stood with each other. Floating about in between the different kinds of relationship they had passed through during their time together, trying to find a place to settle.

Peyton looked over at the door to her office, "I used to want nothing more than to go into my office. Every day was like a little adventure. Does that sound lame?"

"Yeah... But you always sounded lame."

She hit his arm, playfully. "Shut up, Julian..." She smiled, "I used to need my work to feel okay. Finding music that gave me this amazing feeling was something I lived for..." She sighed, "I haven't felt that feeling in a while..."

Julian nodded, understanding that emptiness.

"I can't bring myself to go in there."

"How long's it been?"

"About two months... I tried to go in there. But uh, I didn't feel right. It felt so big, and I felt so small. I'll go back, I just... I need to wait a little while. I don't even know if it's my office anymore..."

"You really think Lucas would kick you out?"

"No... Not when he's 'fighting for me' anyway."

"What?"

"That's what he told me, today. That he was gonna fight for me."

"Really?"

She nodded, and then looked back over at the door, "That was the first time I felt my baby..."

"Oh..."

"It was like the worst pain I have ever felt..." Her eyes welled up, "Until they told me I'd had a miscarriage and couldn't ever have children." She paused for a second, remembering how difficult that was, "I just felt my heart break..."

"Peyton..." Julian murmured, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder before taking it off, scared of overstepping his boundaries. "I don't know if I ever said this... But I am so sorry..."

She smiled weakly, "You did say... But thank you..."

The two looked at each other for a second, never really wanting to look away from each other's comforting gaze. They both jumped when the phone went,

"Tric. Owen speaking... Brooke?" Upon hearing her tone, he turned his body away from the club.

"Brooke?" Peyton repeated, suddenly scared, "Is she okay?"

"Calm down..." He uttered into the phone, "What's going on?"

Brooke gasped for air, "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't call you at work... I just didn't know what else to do, who else to call..."

"Hey, anytime you need me... Just tell me what's going on."

Peyton and Julian looked at each other and then back at Owen, trying to work out what was going on with everyone.

"Oh God..." He sighed, "Sure, I'll be there as soon as I can. No, don't worry about it. I'll see you in a minute."

He hung up, turning back to Peyton and Julian, "Hey, you two, would you mind staying and locking up for me?"

"What's wrong? What's happening?"

Brooke grabbed his jacket, stumbling over his words as if his own tongue didn't want them to come out,

"I uh- They think they may have found Sam's body..."

**

* * *

So, there is the latest chapter!**

**Hope you like it, please review! **

**Disclaimer: The lyrics that I used were actually 'Rain' by Patty Griffin, which is a totally beautiful song if you want to check it out. **


	4. Ch 4: Say It Ain't So

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! **

**So, this chapter starts straight after the last one.**

**Oh and I also need you guys to remember not to confuse the OTH series with this fic; I've had a few PMs about how this doesn't work with, you know, the Owen now... but you have to remember in this story: he didn't sleep with Millie and he has redeemed himself good enough to be Brooke's friend. =P **

**Okay, so the main 'ship' in this chapter comes from Naley... With a little Browen. =) **

**Hope you like it!**

* * *

Owen burst through the front door, temporarily forgetting about the noise level and the potentially sleeping Joanna, and only thinking about Brooke. About how scared she must be. His mind was blank except for such thoughts. He walked in to find her in a similar state to how they had found Peyton earlier on: weak, chest heaving with every thought of Sam's lifeless body.

She turned to face him, walking towards him, steadily at first then faster with every step closer to him- every step taking her closer to some kind of sanctuary. With the final one, she collapsed into his arms, her sobs harder and louder than ever.

"Shh..." He breathed out, stroking her hair, and crouching down to the floor with her, "I'm here for you, Brooke..."

"I can't believe I have to do this. I have to go look at her body, I have to see if she's dead..." She whispered, her eyes searching around her for some kind of sign that this was a dream- this just couldn't be real. "She's dead." She repeated, barely able to consider the true magnetism of what those two words meant.

"Don't think like that. It might not be her..." He whispered, praying that whatever words he uttered didn't turn out to be lies.

"I have to see the body..." She gasped as she realised what she had just said, her fingertips tracing her lips as if trying to stuff the words back in, "The body..." She whispered. "Sam's body..."

He felt her gasp in for air, and laid a hand on her back, rubbing just between her shoulder blades.

"Will you come with me?" She choked out, "I don't want to go alone..."

"You really think you have to ask?"

---

Peyton and Julian were stood behind the bar,

"You have to go." Peyton took a bottle out of a drunken girl's hand, causing it to slap down on the counter. "Come on..." She looked up at the girl's friend, "You might want to help her walk."

The girl giggled, obviously in no better condition than her friend. Peyton rolled her eyes at Julian, who was stood just behind them. He helped both girls up and led them to the door, "Be careful, ladies..."

She walked around, collecting glasses. Julian stood in front of her, taking them out of her hands, "You don't have to do this..."

"I don't know what else to do..." She whispered, shaking her head and taking them back, making her way to behind the bar again. "People, you need to get going. We're closing early today." Her voice was meek and unable to hold its own against the groans of the customers, "Come on..." She spoke out, her voice no bigger than before. She sighed at herself, almost ashamed at her own weakness, she rubbed her head, "Come-"

"Get out!" Julian chimed in, sensing her frustration. "Everyone! Get out!"

Peyton mentally thanked him, looking down at the glasses she was emptying so that she had an excuse not to look at him.

He walked around, shooing everyone out, "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here..." Peyton looked up, one eyebrow raised and a slight smirk on her face at the sound of the cliché. Julian happened to turn and catch that dubious glance, "It's a classic for a reason..." He shrugged, making her smile in that way that he always used to when she was feeling down. He liked that smile. It wasn't beaming or garish like the fraudulent Hollywood faces he had grown so accustomed to looking at; it was real, just a glimmer of hope in an otherwise desperate face.

"You okay?"

"I am as okay as anyone could possibly be at a time like this..." She replied, looking up at him, exhaustion evident in her eyes.

Julian looked around the place, it was now completely empty. "You want to go home?"

"I don't even know where that is at the moment..." She answered truthfully, her eyes threatening to brim over with tears. She turned away from him, wiping her face, then turning back, "Brooke's gonna need us..."

He nodded, and watched as she made her way out from behind the bar, "We walked here..." she remembered, sighing.

"My car's around the corner..." He replied, matter-of-factly, to which she looked up at him a little confused, "I knew this was gonna be a tough day, and I wanted you to be able to get home if you suddenly didn't feel, you know... Ready."

She stayed looking at him for a second, disbelieving just how prepared he could be. "Am I really that predictably pathetic?" She smiled, she didn't mean it as an angst-ridden remark. It was her way of deflecting any kind of compliment or gesture away from the person so that she didn't have to focus on their motives for saying it. Lucas knew it. Brooke knew it.

And Julian knew this.

She kept forgetting that there was a time when he was her best friend: Brooke was away, and Lucas had long since left and there was Julian. Unashamed, unprejudiced, unassuming Julian. And as she looked at him now, she loved knowing that he still stared at her in that way that told her he had no expectations of her.

The cold air hit her and she realised that in all her thoughts she had managed to walk outside, "So, where are you parked?"

Julian pointed and they head that way, in complete silence as their thoughts simultaneously became engaged with worries of Sam and how Brooke was.

---

"HELP!"

Haley came running in, switching on the light. "Honey?"

Jamie stirred in his sleep, "MAMA!"

Haley sat beside him, gently rubbing at his sweat-drenched face and trying to nudge him awake. "Baby..." She whispered, "Baby, wake up..."

Jamie woke up, gasping for air, reaching out for his mother.

"It's okay... It was just a bad dream." She murmured, stroking his hair while he gained full consciousness.

"Mama?"

"Yep..." She held him tighter.

She felt his whole body tense up, "Are you gonna die?"

"What?"

"I dreamt you died..." Haley's face was suddenly creased with anguish, "And me and daddy were sad... And then I dreamt that Nanny Carrie came back and she said she did it."

"Oh baby..." She propped herself against his headboard, and looked up at Nathan who was walking in with a glass of water, "Here you go... You're hot." She let him sip at it, as she felt his forehead. She passed the cup back to Nathan, "You know, you have nothing to be worried about. Nanny Carrie's not coming back..."

He nuzzled into her, still terrified from his dream. Nathan reached down and stroked his head, Haley sighed, "And I'm not going anywhere..." Her breath caught in her throat, and she took the opportunity to kiss him on the head till she could get it back, "You're stuck with me..."

He smiled, "Good..."

Nathan looked down at his wife, who was unable to look back up at him for fear of breaking down, she was so scared that everything she was telling Jamie was going to come tumbling down around her. His brow was furrowed as he tried to work out what was wrong.

"Hales?"

She murmured in response, too scared to open her mouth.

"Do you want to go back to sleep? I know you're tired..." He placed one hand on her shoulder. Her body jumped and she shook her head, burying her face deeper into her son's hair, unable to move away from him. Nathan looked at her, taking his hand off, noting that she seemed to want nothing less than his touch at this moment.

---

"Hey, Brooke..." Peyton whispered, walking through the front door and seeing her on the sofa, clutching a cushion to her stomach. Owen was pouring her a glass of water in the kitchen and Peyton's and his eyes met, exchanging a temporary look of gratitude between two people just trying to help.

He reached over and passed her the glass for her to give Brooke, nodding with the realised sentiment that Peyton was the one Brooke needed right now. Taking the glass, Peyton crouched in front of her, letting her take a sip and stroking the hair out of Brooke's eyes.

"Thanks..." She croaked out. Peyton smiled and placed the glass down on the coffee table, gliding up to sit next to Brooke on the sofa. "Come here..." And in one motion, Peyton's arm was around Brooke, her face pressed against her hair as she continued stroking her hair.

Brooke sniffed, "I need you to take care of Joanna..."

"I figured..." She kept her friend close, "Not a problem..."

---

"Come on, Hales..." Nathan whispered, taking the sleeping Jamie off of her, feeling a slight struggle as he took her hands off of him.

She stood up and watched Nathan lift Jamie and place him down, putting the covers over him. He walked out of the room, stopping in the doorway and turning around to Haley who wasn't moving. He placed his hand at the small of her back and walked her out of the room.

Quietly shutting the door behind them, Nathan turned to the painful eyes of his wife, "What's going on, Haley?"

She looked down and then back up at him, "Nothing- Nothing's going on..."

"Hales-"

"What? Nothing's going on, Nathan." She said, shouting at him but at a volume that was not above a whisper.

He placed a hand at her elbow and gently pulled her into their room, shutting the door behind them. He sighed as he kept his hand on the doorknob, turning and facing her, "Tell me what's wrong, Haley."

She shook her head and sat down on the bed, "Nothing is wrong." She silently pleaded for him to drop it, but to no avail.

"Oh, come on! You've been quiet all night, you won't leave Jamie, you flinch away from me... What the hell is going on, Hales?"

"I just- I was worried about him... That's all. I was just worried."

"About a bad dream?"

She rubbed her head, "Yeah, I mean- He was... He was scared. He's been through a lot, Nathan."

"I know he has... But it was just a bad dream. What's going on with _you?_"

"Nothing!" She yelled back before biting her lip and hushing herself again, Nathan took a step back and really looked at his wife.

"Hales?" He tilted his head, and tried to figure out why she couldn't look him in the eye. "Haley?"

"What?" She said, and he saw the teary eyes of his lover, "Just drop it... Can't you just drop it?" She begged, tiredly, getting up and making her way into bed. She turned away from him, wrapping the covers around herself, and starting to cry.

Nathan heard her muffled sobs, "... Okay." He accepted reluctantly, getting into bed beside her. A wall between the two of them.

"Goodnight, Nathan." She struggled to get the words out, reaching up and turning off the lamp so that he couldn't see her anymore. She couldn't look at his face either. She hated hiding from him. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, but she couldn't have him worry about her. She couldn't bare the idea that she would be a burden.

"Goodnight, Haley..."

---

Brooke stared out of the window while Owen pulled up to the hospital, where they were keeping the body.

The body.

He turned to her, not really knowing what to say. There wasn't a manual for this.

"Do you want me to stay in the car?" He asked, thinking that if she wanted him there, she would ask. And if she didn't, he hadn't pushed her.

"Thanks..." She whispered, nodding down at her lap.

"Hey..." He reached forward, stroking a tentative thumb across the apple of her cheeks, wiping away the tears and knowing full well that they would soon be replaced, "Whatever you need..."

Again, she nodded, this time reaching forward and unbuckling her seatbelt. "You'll be here?" She asked, almost childlike in tone.

She was terrified.

"I'm not going anywhere..." He replied with an earnest face.

She nodded silently once more and turned to leave the car; taking in a breath of cold air as it opened and leaving the shelter of the car. Into the unknown.

There was a policeman waiting at the door like she knew there would be, and he must have known by her tear-stained face and anxious expression who she was. He walked her through, placing an arm that had been specifically trained to comfort onto her arm.

The white halls seemed to stretch out for longer than necessary, and she followed coloured stripes on the floor, absent-mindedly.

"Brooke Davis?" another uniformed face asked.

"Yeah..." She whispered out, and he opened the door to the morgue. Brooke looked around the room in disbelief, Sam was not supposed to be here. The reflective surfaces, the cold metal, the sterile sheets... None of it was meant to be for Sam.

Her eyes darted about the room, eventually landing on the covered table. She breathed in shakily, barely comprehending what was under it and not really wanting to.

"Oh God..." She whispered.

"I know this is hard-" He began, but she wasn't ready to hear contrived sympathy.

"No, it's not hard... It's devastating."

He nodded and she edged closer and closer to the table; reaching out to pull the blanket down over her face and tuck her in for the night, stroking her face and watching her breathe deeply before drifting off into a deeper sleep. She snapped her hand back, remembering why she was here.

"Do I- Do I- I mean... What happens here?"

The policeman stepped forward, speaking slowly as if she was about to go into shock at any moment, "When you're ready... The doctor will pull the blanket back and you'll have a chance to see and possibly identify the body."

She tried to compose herself, "And... If it is her?"

"Then we'll give you time to say goodbye, but the body will have to be taken and a full autopsy will be carried out."

Brooke nodded, taking a deep breath, "Okay, I'm ready..."

"Are you sure?"

"No... But, please..."

She cupped her face in her hands and waited for the inevitable. The man's white coat gleamed back at her, and she thought of all the blood that had been spilled across it.

"Please... Just do it..." She whispered.

He placed two gloved hands at the corner of the blanket and pulled it back.

Tears fell from Brooke's eyes, and she covered her face, shaking her head and desperately trying to breathe.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God."

---

Peyton sat on the sofa, flipping aimlessly through channels, staring gormlessly at the screen as it switched from rock bands, to teleshopping, to kids' TV, to documentaries. Shot after shot of just a different kind of nothingness.

"Auntie Peyton?" Joanna's gentle voice crept from the girl's mouth as she walked sleepily from her room.

"Hey Joey..." Peyton said, crouching beside her and holding the girl up, "What are you doing awake?"

"I can't sleep..." she murmured.

Peyton knew the feeling.

"Okay..." She picked up the small child, holding her tight in her arms and taking her over to the sofa, "That's okay..." She whispered, placing her on her lap and wrapping a blanket around the two of them.

"Where's Brooke?"

"She's- She had to go out, okay? But she'll be home later..."

"She okay?"

"She's okay..." Peyton knew it was a lie, Brooke was far from okay. But she also knew that didn't need to hear about that. The blonde-haired auntie had learnt herself that death was not something a child should hear about and Joanna was certainly young enough to be naive to it. She stroked the infant's head and held her closer, needing the comfort herself.

"She's gonna be okay..."

---

Her brunette hair was matted with blood. Pale skin stained. Smeared eyeliner tracing the contours of her cheekbones.

"Oh... God..." Brooke whimpered out, her lips quivering.

The room was filled with silence thick enough to choke on. The various professionals witness to the poor woman's breakdown.

"That's not her..." Brooke coughed out, "That's not Sam."

"Are you sure?"

Brooke nodded, whispering, "I know my daughter..."

The doctor and policeman exchanged a nod, and the girl was covered again. The white blanket an ironic comparison to the girl's anonymity.

Brooke stumbled back, resting her hand across her stomach and staring at where the corpse lay.

"I want to go... I need to get out of here..." She hurried out the room, feeling smothered by their gaze.

Pushing the door open, she felt strong arms wrap themselves around her, pulling her into a familiar-smelling chest and holding her tightly. Her sobs echoed throughout the corridors as her small hands lay flat on his sides, "It's not Sam..." She wept, "It's not Sam."

---

Peyton watched the tea bag stain the water, turning back and looking at Brooke as sunlight crept through the curtains and onto her face.

"Here you go..." She whispered, passing it to her friend and sitting down beside her. It was the first words either of them had uttered in hours, having been silent for the night; knowing that Brooke had needed to think, and Peyton had given her that.

Brooke smiled weakly, sipping delicately at the hot tea. Feeling it slip down her throat and slowly warm her up from the inside out. "Thank you..." She mumured, and the two continued with their silence. Peyton looked up as Brooke sighed heavily, "I, uh, I need you to take care of Jo again..."

"Sure..." Peyton nodded, watching her friend take another sip.

"I'm going to the police station."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... I just- I can't sit here anymore... You know?" She whispered, her eyes glassy.

"Hey." Peyton placed two gentle hands on her friend's shoulder, "You are doing everything you can." Brooke shook her head, "And you have a beautiful little girl in there that thinks you are the best person ever." Brooke gave another small smile, thinking about her girl, "And I will do whatever I can to help."

Brooke sniffed and wiped her tears, "Was Joanna okay last night?"

"She couldn't sleep... So, we watched TV for a while, and then she was back in bed within the hour..." She said, matter-of-factly, smiling to comfort Brooke as she did. Brooke looked down, Peyton reached forward and took hold of Brooke's hand, sandwiching it between her own, "You're a great mother...". Using this grip, she pulled her towards her, throwing her arms around her neck, "You do what you have to... And you give me a call if you need to."

Brooke nodded into Peyton's shoulder, "I might just have to hold you to that..."

---

Nathan rampaged through the halls of the school, enraged to have woken up to a note:

"Another teaching course.

Jamie's at school.

I'll see you later.

X"

No explanation for her behaviour last night, he was determined to find out where she was.

"I, uh, I need to speak to the Head of English Faculty, or the principal or someone... I need to find my wife."

He was directed as to where to go and found the man he was looking for,

"Can I help you?"

"I need to find out where my wife is. She's on a teaching course, and uh, I need you tell me where she is."

The man shrugged, "I don't know of any..." His finger traced his planner, "I'm sorry she's not on a course. Not one that I know of. She rang this morning to say she was sick..." He looked up to see the angry face of an oblivious husband and raised his hands in innocence, "That's all I know."

"Sure..." Nathan shook his head, turning away, "Uh, thanks." He muttered, walking out of the office.

This walk through the halls was much more solemn: memories of Chris Keller and ancient kisses floated through his mind. He walked past Lucas' office, the sandy-haired brother catching a glimpse of him and getting up from his desk to speak to him.

"Hey Nate." He called after him. With no reply, he caught up with him in a slow run, "Nathan?"

"I can't deal with you right now, Lucas..." Nathan replied shortly, raising a hand as if to wave away his sibling.

"Nate... Come on. Can't we get past this?"

"Not now." He snapped back.

"Nathan, I'm sorry... I-I just want to talk."

"Well, I don't." He shouted, without stopping to look back.

"Please, Nate..."

He placed an apologetic hand on Nathan's shoulder, causing him to lash around and smack it away. This same aggressive instinct made him push Lucas up against the lockers, pinning him with his arm. His face was close to his brother's, "Don't touch me, Lucas." Lucas held up his hands in defeat, and Nathan gave him a final shove, "It's not always about you..." he muttered, before turning away and walking off.

---

Owen and Brooke sat like they had been told to, in some unfamiliar office; Brooke's eyes sketched around the library of cases and folders.

"Miss Davis?"

She whipped around to a standing position- sitting and chatting was not on her agenda for today.

"What are you doing to find Sam?!" she yelled at him,

"Everything we can."

"No, you're not! If you were, you would have found her! Now, don't give me your platitudes... I don't need them! I need my daughter! Where is she?" She shouted, stepping towards him.

"We don't know... I told you that the other day."

"And then you showed me another girl's body! A girl died and someone is going to have to identify her body... It's not Sam, but it could have been!"

"I- I know you're upset-"

"You don't know anything!" She screamed back at him, pushing him so that he had take a step back to keep himself balanced,

"Brooke..." Owen got up, stepping between the two of them.

"Miss Davis."

"NO! I have sat here for two months, feeling so helpless... I can't do it anymore."

Owen placed a firm hand at her stomach, trying to keep her from lunging forward at the detective. "Come on..." He whispered in her ear, and she shut her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"I can't do this anymore..." She whispered back at him.

"I know..."

"Please..." She said, turning back to the detective, "Find Sam..." Her eyes searched the floor for the dignity she seemed to have dropped, "I just- I can pay. If it's a financial thing- I can- I can pay. I want to... I'll do anything. I just need her back..."

The detective nodded, solemnly, not really knowing what else he could do but knowing that she needed the reassurance. He watched as Owen walked her out of the room, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly and being the strong presence that she needed to fall back on.

---

Peyton looked around the house, it was too quiet, too empty. She and Joanna were just drifting around.

No. She wasn't doing this anymore.

She picked up Joanna and slung her on her hip, walking around the house and packing the bag for her.

"We're going out, baby..." She muttered to the child, placing a firm kiss on the top of her head. She leant down and pulling the cap off of a pen with her teeth, she scrawled a note out onto a scrap of paper, and pinned it to the phone table.

"Today's the day, Joanna."

"Where we go?" She awkwardly asked, placing a tiny hand on Peyton's neck and starting to twirl her hair.

"We're going to work..." Peyton smiled.

As Peyton walked into her office, arms full of a cute child and her belongings, she was suddenly very aware of how alien the place was to her: the albums on the wall felt strange and unknown- as opposed to the comfort and familiarity they had provided over the years. She felt like she did when she returned to Tree Hill that year or so ago, like they were like old family members she had grown apart from.

She sat behind her desk and let Joanna sit on the desk in front of her, tickling the backs of her knees with her fingernails and watching the little girl laugh.

"What are you doing?" Joanna asked as she watched Peyton get up and go to the shelf.

She turned back, closing her eyes as a record scratched on, "Meeting up with some old friends..."

---

Haley walked through her house and up the stairs, her mind blank, she made her way to her bedroom and dropped her bag to the floor. She sat down on the corner of her bed, and stopped herself from crying as she heard Jamie's heavy footsteps coming closer.

"Hey, mama, me and Uncle Skills thought we could hear you coming." He crept closer to his mother, who faced away from him, "Mom?"

"Can you get Uncle Skills for me? Tell him I need to speak to him."

Jamie silently nodded and made his way out of the room, walking into his own and finding Skills led across his bed, playing video games. "Mom needs to speak to you..." Skills nodded, passing the controller over to Jamie and placing one hand on the small boy's shoulder, "I think she's sad." Jamie said quietly.

"I'll find out what's going on..."

---

"You wanted to speak to me?" Skills asked, leaning on the door frame.

Haley stayed looking down into her lap, "Could you take Jamie for the night?" She closed her eyes and whispered, "Please..."

Skills didn't question it. "Of course... We'll go pack his stuff."

"Thanks..."

"No problem."

He went to turn away before looking back, "You okay, Hales?"

"Yeah..." She nodded, "I'm fine."

"Alright..." He said, unconvinced, and went back to help Jamie pack.

"Is my mom okay?" Jamie asked, obviously picking up on the tension Skills seemed to have stuck on him.

"She's fine. Hey, you're staying with me tonight." He smiled, trying to hide his concern, "Get your things..."

Jamie jumped off of the bed and started packing.

---

Brooke and Owen came home to an empty house, immediately causing Brooke to freak out.

"Oh My God... Where are they?" She ran into the various rooms, slamming doors behind her, "Where the hell are they?!"

Owen looked down at the blinking machine and pressed the play button,

"Hey B. Davis. Thought I'd leave a message in case you didn't find the notes I'd left. Joey's with me, listen-

'Hi Brooke!'

See? That was her... We're good. I'm at my office- Yes, you heard right- and if you need to see Joanna or you need to talk, then I'll be there in ten minutes. Ring me if you need me. Love you."

Brooke smiled as she fingered the post-it note in front of her that detailed exactly what Peyton had just said. She looked up to see Owen laughing at another two on the banister, and pointing to one on the kitchen counter. Brooke rubbed her face, "How did we miss them?" She laughed out.

"I doubt you could see much for the blind panic..." He smiled at her.

She held up her hands, "I may have overreacted a little..." He kinked an eyebrow at her, "A lot..." She admitted.

He sighed heavily, "I have to get going... I got to pack for that thing in New York tomorrow."

"Bartending convention?" she replied, cheekily.

"Seeing my family... It's been a while." He confessed, a little embarrassed, "You gonna be okay here, Brooke?"

"I'll be fine..." She smiled, "Thank you... For worrying about me..."

"Can't help it." He shrugged, she pulled him into a hug and he smiled before raising a hand to say goodbye and walking away.

---

"Hello?" Peyton answered the phone, not really knowing who would call her.

"Peyton!"

She knew his voice well.

"Lucas?"

"Oh, thank God... Where the hell have you been?"

She was a little confused, "I, uh, I- What are you talking about?"

"I rang your house all last night and this morning, and no one was there. And I-"

"We're good... Brooke-" She sighed, "Brooke had to indentify a body... It wasn't Sam. But- it's- it's took a lot out of her."

"Oh man..."

"Yeah."

"How is she?"

"Coping."

"Sure..."

Peyton remembered when their conversations would have no awkward pauses, words would flow from their mouths, sentences would be finished for one another, now it was just... kind of sad.

"How's that scene going?"

"Oh... We don't have to talk about that."

"I want to." And he heard the slight smile in her voice, "How's it going?"

"I finished it..."

"That's great, Luke."

"...Yeah. It was- It was hard."

"I'll bet..."

She heard him sigh, "So you're back at work?"

"Am I in my office? Yes. Am I working? Not so much..."

The two laughed a little, "It'll get easier..." He assured, "At least I hope it does..."

"Yeah..."

Lucas walked towards the knocked door, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder, he opened it, "I gotta go, Peyton. Julian's here..."

"Julian?"

"Yeah. I, uh, he's here about my scene."

"Sure..."

"I love you, Peyton." He tagged onto the end of his conversation, praying that she hadn't forgotten. Julian looked down at his shoes, obviously awkward.

"Goodbye, Lucas."

He hung up and gave a greeting with just his face, holding the door open and gesturing Julian inside. "Hey, Julian."

"Hey, Luke. Glad to hear you got your writing mojo up and running..." He smiled,

"Yeah..."

"You could have e-mailed it to me, you know?"

"I kind of-" He looked inside his office, and Julian saw that his modem was smashed, amongst many other things, "I lost my connection."

Julian smiled a little, "No problem."

"Here you go..." Lucas said, handing him a wad of paper off of the desk.

"Thanks..." He took it off of him, reading the title and knowing the scene well: it was the state championship scene where Lucas had realised his feelings for Peyton. "I can see why this was so hard for you..." Lucas nodded, "I'll get back to you with any thoughts, Luke." He said, walking towards the door. He opened it and walked through, turning back, "Was that Peyton on the phone?"

"Yeah..."

"How's Brooke?"

"Surviving... From what Peyton's told me."

"Right... Must be hard."

"You knew about Sam?"

"Yeah, I was with Peyton when Owen told us." Julian answered, momentarily forgetting what kind of tension this could cause. He had known it was innocent, but knew what an outsider- someone like Lucas- would see when they looked at the same scene.

Before Julian had a chance to clarify, Lucas slammed the door, and Julian heard him throw something at a wall. He sighed, apologising to everyone this was going to affect. Mostly Peyton.

---

Owen knocked at the door and when there was no reply, he stepped in, "I know I said I'd see you in a few days, but I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Brooke stumbled out from her room, "Hey, Owen..." She smiled, "You're always making sure I'm okay..."

"Are you drunk?"

"I may have a few glasses of wine..." She whispered, gesturing an amount between her finger and thumb and laughing.

He saw she had been crying, this was just a mask. She was playing fun Brooke for a second.

"Come here, Brooke..." He said, pulling her in for a hug. Looking over her shoulder, he saw the empty bottle of wine on the counter. He looked down as he felt a damp patch through his shirt,

"I'm just- I'm just so tired of not knowing."

He nodded, nursing her in his arms, stroking her hair. "I know..."

"I don't know what to do anymore, Owen."

She looked up at him, tears dripping from her brown eyes.

"I don't wanna be alone..." She said in hushed tones. She stood onto her toes and placed a hand on his face, he felt her mouth and tongue as it parted his lips and invited him to join her. She closed her eyes, moaning slightly, and he could feel her cold tears on his face.

They parted for a second, and he looked at her face for any hint of sobriety, finding none.

"Please..." she begged, leaning in again and this time her kiss was more forceful, more pleading, more urgent.

---

Nathan slammed the door behind him, he knew Jamie was staying with Skills tonight so didn't really care how much noise he made. He wondered if that was why Jamie was gone, Haley had some big admission of guilt to lay on him and didn't want Jamie around for the reaction. Haley flinched as she heard the door shut, wiping her swollen eyes as much as she could.

"Haley!" He yelled, "Haley, we need to talk!"

She clenched her shaking hands into fists, forcing them into steadiness, as she wrapped her jumper around herself and faced away from the door she knew he was about to walk through.

"Haley!" He shouted again, storming through to the living room,

"Yeah?" Her voice was shaky, she tried to hide her upset.

"We need to talk..." The volume may have reduced but his tone was just as severe.

"I know..." She breathed out.

He rubbed his mouth in anguish, "We do?"

"Yeah..." Her timid voice replied, "We do."

He wanted to get their first, wanted to spit out his question first, "I just- I don't know what's been going on... I just-" He sighed, stuttering out his fears, "But- Are you- Are you cheating on me?"

She looked down into her lap, "No... I'm not." She couldn't be angry, it was perfectly reasonable for him to assume something like that. She didn't like what she was being accused of, but she was the one who was lying- he was in the dark, and this was his way of finding a way out.

"See the thing is, I want to believe you..." He sat down on the sofa beside her, still looking at her back, "I want to... And everything that I know about you tells me to stop being such an arse. But you lied about where you were today... You're so quiet... You won't tell me anything. I just- I'm so scared that you are about to leave me." His eyes were watery and he leant forward and rested his forehead on the top of her back, between her shoulders. She closed her eyes as she felt his touch on her, his warmth melting through her icy position.

"Don't touch me..." She whispered, hardly moving, and with no real inclination to push him away. She just felt so ashamed.

Nathan took himself off of her, looking at the back of her head, his face was wrinkled in confusion. "Hales?"

She didn't move, but opened her eyes and stared out at the fabric of the sofa- the tears trickled from under her eyelids, landing on her hands. Nathan crept forward, shuffling closer to her, "Please... Talk to me..." He slid his arm around her waist, letting his hand rest on her stomach, she edged her hand closer to his- desperate for some kind of comfort- and as their skin touched, she woke up, flinching away from him and off of the sofa.

Nathan brought his hand back to his lap, staring down at it, and wondering what he had done. He shut his eyes, and listened for her sighs, "Hales, what's happening?"

She shook her head lightly, wiping her face that was still sore from constant tears.

"I- uh... I-" She tripped over syllables, sighing at herself and stepping further away from him. This time he was not so able to let the distance grow, he stood up from the sofa and watched his wife struggle over her thoughts. "I'm... I'm sick." She rushed out, believing the words might catch in her throat if she thought about them too much.

Nathan's face was blank, but quickly came back with emotion when he saw his wife breaking down.

"Wha- What do you mean?"

She choked on it all, "The doctor found something, and I went back. And I- they ran some tests..."

"And you didn't tell me? Haley, what were you thinking? I- Why would you not tell me?" Nathan knew he wasn't mad at his wife, but he had nowhere else to place all this confusion.

"I was scared... And I didn't want to worry you. And I-" She watched as he turned away, devastated that his wife had been unable to talk to him, she stepped towards him, "Nathan, I'm sorry- I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, and I lied to you... And- And-" She heaved in, desperately, walking closer to him and tugging on his shirt. He turned and watched the shell of his wife as her tears carried mascara down her cheeks and down her neck, "Nathan... Nathan, I'm so scared... And I need you. I have cancer, and I need you..."

Fear washed over him, "Cancer?" Nathan's shaky voice repeated, she looked up at him again, realising that was the first time she had said it. Her fingers shakily traced around the space that her words had just come from.

She fell back against the sofa, the sobs taking the last of her energy. "Oh God..." she slid down onto the floor, "I have cancer..." She whispered out, barely believing the words.

"Hales?" Nathan was sick with worry, as he watched Haley turn paler and paler with every breath she struggled to take in. He crouched beside her, massaging her back and watching her as her body lurched forward with every retch. "Come here..." He pulled her in between his legs, resting her back against his chest. "I'm sorry, Haley... I'm so sorry." He buried his wet face- damp from tears- into hair, while she coughed and spluttered through the pain.

"I have cancer."

"Haley... We're gonna get through this." He stroked her hair, whispering into it, "I won't let anything happen to you."

She shook her head, feeling smaller than ever, feeling broken. But Nathan was adamant:

"We will survive..."

**

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Please review =P  
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**Oh, and I just want people to know... Next chapter there will be some Brucas interaction. (Just so you know... haha.)**


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